


The Nomelculous and Gastonberry

by Gedry



Series: G and N [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, M/M, Miscommunication, Stupid Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-24 10:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13211403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gedry/pseuds/Gedry
Summary: Dean’s going to kill Sam.  He hates his new officemate and it’s all his brother’s fault.





	1. Chapter 1

**The Nomelculous and Gastonberry**

Dean Winchester loves his brother. Really he does. He and Sam have been through a lot together; growing up with their absentee father and lonely mother. Hell, they have shared the same space since Sam was born. First their tiny room at home then the dorm at college, the hole in the wall apartment during graduate school, and now the slightly bigger hole in the wall place they reside in now. 

That doesn’t cover the office they share at work. Sam ended up some big time political infrastructure and communication professor. Dean isn’t one hundred percent sure what Sammy teaches really. He keeps falling asleep during the ever so exciting descriptions of Sam’s students’problems of the day. Dean is a criminologist. He works in the Criminal Justice Department and then subs out part time with local and federal law enforcement trying to help them solve some complex cases. He likes to stay busy and his odd hours tend to lead to him dropping off for five or ten minutes wherever he can. 

Sharing an office with your brother is helpful that way. Sam keeps track of Dean’s class schedule because he’s OCD and because he loves Dean. Sam wakes him up if he’s going to miss something. Dean gets most of his rest drooling onto federal documents and the hundreds of crime scene photos he keeps spread everywhere. On the rare occasions that Sam gets crazy enough to remind Dean that he needs to get life Dean mentions that Sam doesn’t exactly have one either. 

Then Sam had what Dean will always refer to as _The Fucking Terrible Idea._

The Fucking Terrible Idea is a year long paid internship at the Angel Institute of Politics and History or some such shit. Sam is dying to go. He actually drools. Dean’s happy for his brother. Angels are not Dean’s idea of a good time but whatever floats Sam’s boat. It’s a hell of a long shot anyway, a whole ass load of people from all over the world have to be vying for the spot. Dean’s more than a little shocked when Sam gets the interview and almost has a heart attack when Sam wins the appointment. He’s going to miss his brother. But it’s only for a year. 

Then he finds out the catch. Sam, in all his brilliance, neglects to mention that it’s a swap. So not only does Sam get to fly off to angel land; Dean gets to spend the next year of his life sharing office space with a feather brained dickhead. Dean’s sure Sam left that part out on purpose. In retaliation he makes a point to leave a copy of every horrible, disgusting, nasty crime scene photo he can find stashed in Sam’s belongings; in between the pages of his books, his underwear drawer, next to his shampoo in the shower, and under his pillow at night. Sam has a weak stomach. It drives him crazy. 

But Dean is a big boy and he thinks he can tough out just about anything for a year. After all he survived being married to Lisa with minimal emotional scarring. But this angel they sent to trade off with Sam is just too much. The guy is rude, distant, unapproachable, unfriendly, has no sense of humor, and is so rumpled he looks like someone ran him over with a truck on his way to work. 

_I’m going to have to start working from home._

It’s not like Dean is trying to make the guy pissed off. They just don’t mesh at all. He misses the warmth and companionship he got from Sam. Now when he turns up Led Zeppelin as he tries to think about how these clues fit together the dickhead office mate he has will just reach over and turn it down. They barely speak and Dean feels like the guy is staring at him all the time. But when he turns around to glare at him Castiel has buried his nose in a book. What kind of name is Castiel anyway? Dean can barely pronounce it. Then again Dean isn’t sure the angel even knows he has a name. 

He ignores Sam’s phone calls, texts, and emails. They aren’t speaking right now as far as Dean is concerned. Castiel is a brooding presence in the office. He’s there when Dean gets there in the morning and often still there when he leaves at night. Classes haven’t even started yet. 

Dean’s pouring over some documentation for the feds about a number of murders that they think might be connected. Dean can’t find anything that stands out but he just has a feeling that he’s missing something. He must have fallen asleep; he wakes up to the smell of coffee and pushes himself off the table top of his desk. 

“You have the right idea; but the photographs need to be rotated.” Castiel’s dry, emotionless voice comes from Sam’s desk. He’s typing something on the computer. 

“What do you mean?” Dean sounds groggy. He knows he’s worn down; too much burning the candle at both ends for him. If he doesn’t take a break soon and actually sleep he’s going to crash and burn. 

“The photos of the crime scenes. They make a pattern, a picture, but you need to rotate them. It’s like a puzzle.” Castiel turns his ever so blue eyes to Dean. Dean stops thinking for a minute; lost in the sleepy haze of just waking and the warm feel of the coffee his office mate must have brought him.

Dean turns back to the table and after some twirling he discovers that Castiel is right. They make a pattern. He sketches out the design and faxes is back to the detective running the case. “Thank you.” Dean would have been up another two days trying to figure that out. He’s grateful. 

“I’m good with puzzles.” Castiel’s response is followed by a graceful shrug of dark chocolate wings. 

“What else are you good at?” Dean can’t help himself; he is an undeniable flirt. Castiel blushes, a tinge of pink painting his pale cheeks. 

He doesn’t back down though and Dean is impressed. “I’m good at a number of things. Not all of them are school appropriate.” Castiel’s gaze never leaves Dean’s. 

As far as Dean is concerned you might as well have waved the white truce flag in the office. Their slowly developing friendship is still like trying to shove a square peg through a round hole but at least they’re talking. They have nothing in common. Dean loves “Dr. Sexy” and has the whole recent season on DVR for when he has time for TV. Castiel watches the Discovery channel when he isn’t reading everything in sight. He likes Classical music, Dean loves classic rock. Castiel doesn’t even have a driver’s license and Dean’s only long term committed relationship is to the Impala his dad left him. 

On the up side Castiel has great taste in coffee. Dean’s grateful for that. Shockingly, the first time Dean manages to pry Castiel out of the office for lunch the angel actually enjoys diner food. 

“So why did you want to come here?” Dean asks around a mouthful of burger.

Castiel shifts in the booth. “I didn’t.” He looks guilty.

“What?” Dean thought this was a big ol’ deal. Sam was so excited.

“I didn’t want to come here. No one did. When your brother’s credentials placed him in our area of expertise we drew straws.” The angle at least has the decency to look embarrassed. 

“And you lost?” Dean’s shock is apparent. 

“Yes.” Castiel’s voice is softer and lower than Dean has heard it before. 

“Fucking angels,” Dean throws down his napkin and goes to pay the tab. Lunch is over. 

He starts talking to Sam again. His brother is miserable and having his own problems between his messed up PA and Satan across the hall. Dean’s supportive but he still has to throw in the Winchester jab of _I told you so._ Sam’s response is a text message of a giant **F U.**

Castiel doesn’t talk to him the next day. Dean buries himself in work. He’s prepared for the semester so classes starting aren’t a big deal. It’s the case he is helping with that is driving him nuts. After a second all-nighter Dean is ragged and foul. So of course that would be when Castiel decides to hit him with both barrels. 

“I don’t appreciate your attitude. Your comment at lunch was uncalled for.” The angel’s voice is hard and his arms are crossed over his chest. Dean notices the wings the most though; they’re raised and spread out behind him. Dean feels very small.

“Whatever dude. I don’t have time for this shit.” Dean’s passed the point of being too tired to care.

He’s not expecting the hand on his arm at all. He’s certainly not expecting it to be so strong as it turns him back around. “You will show me some respect.” Castiel is up in his personal space and closing in fast. Dean jerks his arm out of the angels grasp and goes to get up from his chair and walk out of the room. He needs some space. But he’s tired and he catches his foot on the edge of the table; tipping it over and scattering two days worth of work everywhere. 

“Shit; FUCK!” Dean knows there is a litany of foul language pouring out of his mouth as he crouches down to clean up his mess. Now he’s going to have to start all over. 

_This is not what I need right now._

He’s not expecting Castiel to help him pick the stuff up; but he does. When Dean looks up to thank him and to apologize he sees the angels head tip to the side and his eyebrows draw in together. “You are clearly exhausted. How long has it been since you’ve rested?” 

Dean shrugs off the concern; he’s a big boy and he can take care of himself. “A few days. I’m fine dude. No big deal.”

Castiel’s hand pressing to his forehead is a shock. The action alone is surprising but his hand is cool and feels so good against Dean’s heated skin. “You feel warm and you look weary. Your hands are shaking. Dean, you need to sleep.” 

“I need to finish my part of this case. There’s a family out there that needs answers.” Dean can sleep later. He’s close to an answer here. 

“Let me look over it while you rest. I’ll wake you in three hours. If I haven’t made any progress you can get back to work then.” Castiel is guiding Dean to the recliner he and Sam squeezed into the office after Dean got a kink in his neck from sleeping face first on his desk too many times. 

Dean hesitates but the thought of sleep sounds too promising and Cas has helped him with a case before. It wouldn’t hurt. “Three hours.” Dean knows he is half out of it already. Cas helps him ease into the recliner and Dean is only vaguely aware of being covered gently with a trench coat as he passes into oblivion. 

_The damn angel can’t tell how long three hours is._

Dean’s got no idea what time it is. But it’s dark outside and that means he has been sleeping a hell of a lot longer than three hours. He’s going to kill Cas. Or rather he would if the huge irritating dork of angel wasn’t snoring softly into the FBI reports piled on Dean’s desk. His wings dragging limp on the ground behind him. Dean has an insane urge to scoop them up and slide a blanket under them. They’re a rich, dark brown and they look too majestic to be dragging along the floor. He shakes himself out of it on the way to the bathroom when he starts to wonder what they feel like. 

He hits the soda machine on the way back to the office. Dean’s still tired but he feels a hell of a lot better than he did earlier. He smiles at the soft snores Cas is making on his desk. There is a stack of papers beside him and when Dean looks them over he realizes that Cas not only restructured the two days of work that he had lost but that he had rolled right through the mental road block Dean had been having and put all the bits and pieces together. Dean owes the guy big time. 

Sometime during the night Cas had loosened his tie and dragged his dress shirt out of his pants. His sleeves are rolled up, and to Dean’s shock he’s barefoot. Ok, so Dean can be man enough to admit it: his office mate is hot. Dean feels a shiver of attraction and is compelled to drag his fingers through Cas’s ever messy hair. He stops himself; instead sliding the cold edge of his soda along the exposed back of Cas’s neck. The guy comes out of the chair with a shout; turning wild eyes to Dean.

“You finished my work.” Dean’s voice is gentle as he pushes the soda over in front of Cas.

“Yes, it was intriguing.” Cas pops open the can and takes a drink. Dean watches him swallow and tries not to cum in his pants. 

“You didn’t have to do all that. Thank you and for what it’s worth; I’m an ass and I’m sorry.” Dean has no idea why they’re whispering. 

Cas’s voice is deepener and rough from sleep. “Thank you. I apologize as well. I was aggressive with you.” 

Dean can ignore the comment. He should really. He has to deal with this guy in his office for eight more months. He’s not sure that a good fling is worth it if it were to go badly. But then Dean’s always kind of thought with his little head. “That’s okay. It was hot.” 

Cas stands up and kisses him then. Hot and wet and Dean moans shamelessly as Cas slides his tongue over Dean’s lower lip and into his mouth. He feels them walking backwards and reaches up to grab a hold as Cas presses him into Sam’s desk. Cas is pulling the shirt out of Dean’s pants and sliding his hands up Dean’s back. Dean gives into the urge and gathers handfuls of feathers from Cas’s wings and tugs them gently; swallowing the moan Cas lets out with his mouth and soothing him by sucking on his lower lip. Cas pulls back from the kiss and presses his forehead to Dean’s; they’re breath is unsteady and his hands are fisted in Dean’s shirt. He’s grinding their bodies together and Dean leans around to nip at Cas’s ear. “Dean, Dean.” Cas keeps whispering against his neck and Dean grabs Cas’s belt, undoing it and sliding open the angel’s pants. He’s so hard; when Dean wraps his hand around Cas’s dick the angel lets out what can only be called a mewl.

“How long has it been?” Dean whispers into his ear.

Cas’s response is a dry, unsteady chuckle. “Too long, fuck Dean, way WAY too long.” 

It’s hard to argue with a response like that. Dean slides down the edge of the desk and as Cas gasps and grabs for him slides the angel into his mouth. 

It turns out Cas can give as good as he can get. Dean is so sore in the morning he can barely get out of bed. He drags himself to the kitchen of his apartment to start the coffee before stopping in the bathroom to check out the pattern of purplish bruises that now decorate his hips, thighs, and chest. The angel has a hell of a grip. Dean smiles; he hasn’t felt this good in a damn long time. Relaxed even; which for Dean is just short of an act of God. 

Cas is still sprawled out on his stomach when Deans makes it back to the room with coffee. He waves it in front of the angel long enough to get a grunt of acknowledgement and sets it on the bedside sliding his hands up and down Cas’s back. Cas looks over his shoulder at Dean as he reaches for the cup. “We could have the uncomfortable morning after talk now if you would like. Or we could go with option number two.” Cas sounds amused and lazy.

“What’s option number two?” Dean’s hoping it’s better than option number one.

Cas spreads his legs a little and rolls his hips against Dean’s sheets. “You could fuck me again.” His voice is like sandpaper. 

Who’s Dean to argue with an offer like that?

They work really well together. Cas and Dean balancing out each other’s rather obsessive personalities. Word from Sammy’s end sounds like things are going better for him as well. Though when Cas hears that the angel Sam is sleeping with is Lucifer he gets this really odd look on his face and says “That guy scares me.” 

_Maybe little brother has some taste after all._

The sex is awesome too. Cas is an imaginative lover and passionate as hell. Dean can’t remember ever being this fulfilled sexually. The guy is insatiable and Dean actually has to beg off some nights when one more time would probably kill him. But it’s more than that. He likes Cas and for all the irritation that comes with him. Cas gives Dean a lot of what he needs. He’s hard on Dean, pushing him to look at things from a different perspective, to stretch his comfort zone and grow. He keeps him on task; rewarding him with heavy petting and the occasional strip tease when Dean needs a break from grading papers and scoring projects. 

They argue. Frequently actually, and Dean looses his fair share of the fights. Cas is strong willed and intelligent. He’s also crazy and even when Dean is at his worst Cas doesn’t let up. Sam comments on it during his trip home for the holidays. He says they’re a good match. Hell if Dean knows what that means. This is just temporary. Four more months and Cas is shipping back to angel land. No reason to get excited about anything. All good things come to an end and all that. 

He keeps telling himself that even after he starts having trouble sleeping without Cas by his side in the bed. By April it’s a silent mantra in Dean’s head of _he’s leaving he’s leaving he’s leaving._ So when he finds himself lying awake at night and memorizing the curves and angles of Cas’s face Dean isn’t surprised. He’s going to need something to hold onto when Cas goes. 

_Something to remember him by._

The Fucking Terrible Idea comes to a head when Sam calls and says he is staying halfway around the world with his two new lovers. Dean is pissed. He’s going to miss his brother. How the hell did it work out this way that in one stupid month everything he loves will be across the country from him and he’ll be alone? Dean wonders when Cas became such a big part of everything he loves. Loves. 

Dean whispers “I love you” into Cas’s skin at night while he sleeps. There’s no reason to say it to his face in the daylight. Cas is already packing. 

School lets out and Dean buries himself in a project for the state police. He spreads out the information until it overlaps both desks in the room and he knows it’s only because he is trying to fill up the empty spaces left behind by his brother and this angel that he wants to hang onto so badly. Cas watches him withdraw with slumped shoulders and sad eyes. 

Their last night together Dean begs Cas for more. He wants it harder, wants to wear the bruises from where Cas has gripped him tight for as long as he can before they fade like his happiness faded. He bites his lip to keep from crying and pretends that Cas’s gasps in the dark are from pleasure and not tears. 

Cas is gone in the morning. Dean had hoped that would be the way it would go. How do you say goodbye to your internship fling when you went and did something so stupid as fall in love with them? Dean’s sure that he’s done the walk of shame more than once to the people in his past. Karma is a bitch and Cas has a life to get back to; a life that doesn’t include a grouchy, loudmouthed, obsessive, and moody criminology professor. 

Dean goes back to the office. He has cases to help solve and criminals to catch at least in his own small way. The office is blank, empty but for his belongings. He almost misses the trench coat folded up on the recliner. For weeks after that it’s his constant companion. He never wears it or even touches it much but while he is talking out loud about the problems he is trying to work out on a case it’s a little (very little) bit like talking to Cas. 

He gets a package from the Institute. He piles it on the desk with the rest of the mail for around a week because he assumes it’s something from Sam. When he gets around to opening the package it’s full of pictures. They are blurry and out of focus and it takes Dean a while to figure out that they make a larger shape. Sam didn’t send him this and Dean only knows one other person who likes puzzles as much as he does. 

By the time he’s done, he’s scraped all the furniture in the room out of the way and cleared all of his current cases. The floor in the office is covered with photographs all pasted together at different angles. When Dean steps back and the picture becomes clear he realizes that it’s a picture of himself; curled up in the recliner and covered with that old trench coat. Cas must have taken it the day he forced Dean to sleep in the office. On the bottom of the collage is Cas’s handwriting. 

_I would have stayed with you._

Dean stares at that message for a very long time. Then he wraps himself in the coat Cas left for him and cries.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

**YOU’RE COMING TO VISIT.**

It’s all the note says when Dean opens the package from his brother. There are plane tickets and a hotel reservation for next week. He throws the padded envelope across the room and goes to get a beer. 

_Fucking little brother and his fucking ideas._

It’s not that he has any reason to say no. Dean has been buried in work for the last four months trying to avoid his lonely existence and his heartbreak. After me managed to pick himself up off the floor of his office; when he realized that he had let the love of his life fly away; Dean tried to fix things. He really did. 

He called Cas at least 100 times. He never got an answer and then the number stopped working. He called the institute until they told him no one by that name worked there anymore. He sent letters, emails, and packages. Hell in a drunken stupor one night he packed up Cas’s battered old trench coat and mailed it too. 

Everything comes back return to sender. 

Dean buries himself in his office until his department director at the college tells him they are making him take the fall semester off. They say he needs to work some stuff out; Dean’s so tired and fed up he doesn’t even put up a fight. He does clean everything out of his office. He’ll be damned if he goes back there.

But the cases have kept rolling in and Dean’s always been in high demand; higher now that he has more free time. He almost never leaves his apartment. Just long enough to check the mail and buy groceries. What the hell else does he need to go out for? There’s no one else in his life. 

Sammy flew out to check on him after he got the phone call from the college saying Dean had quit. Dean spent most of the week trying to drag information about Cas out of Sam until Sam had finally stopped dodging him long enough to admit “I promised Cas I wouldn’t discuss him with you. I’m sorry.”   
Dean had bodily removed Sam from his house; grateful later that Sam hadn’t called the police after the bruises Dean must have left on him. He hasn’t spoken to Sam since. Every attempt at communication has been refused. 

_If they don’t want me, I don’t want them either._

Now, this package and an order to come visit. Dean thinks long and hard about burning them and sending the ashes back to Sam. 

He cancels his case consults and tells the people he is working for, that any new cases are going to have to be put off for a week. Then he packs a bag. What the hell does he have left to lose?

He fucking hates flying. Even the first class tickets Sam bought for him aren’t enough to make Dean feel more at ease. He’s still in the air, off the ground, in a box. He wants to get drunk so badly but he would rather be sober when he sees Sam. 

“You look like absolute hell.” Sam says from behind him at the baggage claim. Dean only has one carry on but he packed some case work he didn’t hadn’t finished yet. Figures it will give him something to do while everyone scurries off to teach on Monday. 

Dean turns and his little brother is just glowing. “You look pretty good dude,” he says.

Sam gave him a hug like they haven’t been fighting for two months and Dean thinks that maybe that’s because to Sam they haven’t been. Dean’s just being an ass. “How much weight have you lost?” Sam mutters; his voice deep with concern.

“I don’t know mom, maybe ten pounds or so.” Dean replies sarcastically. “Who cares?”

Sam rolls his eyes as he responds “I do, you dick. Come on, let’s get you checked in and then get you some food.” 

Dean drags along beside his brother and feels some of the horrible ache in his chest ease for the first time since he woke up that morning without Cas. 

The hotel is exquisite. Dean’s suspicious of where Sam is getting all this money. Sam laughs at him, right in his face, when he says “Dean, it’s no big deal. We can afford this and there is no room at our place for you to stay right now. So we thought we could at least put you up someplace nice.”

Someplace nice turns out to be the penthouse suite. There are two bedrooms and a living room area. Dean drops his bag in the room on the right and gestures for Sam to hand over the suitcase with his case files in it. Sam shakes his head and says “No way man. You need a break and to relax. I’m keeping the cases tonight. You’re not going to need them.”

Dean opens his mouth to argue. There is important documentation in there, but Sam’s got bitch face number 27 in full effect and Dean can see the worry in his brother’s eyes. He relents “Ok. But I want it back in the morning.”

Meeting Sam’s two lovers is not something Dean had put a lot of thought into. He’s seen pictures of them together but they didn’t do justice to these two beautiful creatures waiting at Sam’s house. That’s when he figures out where all the money is coming from. Three incomes in the tiny two bedroom home they share together leaves for lots of saved money. 

Jo is passionate and forceful. He gets immediately why Sam loves her. His little brother has always been a sucker for bossy women. “Do they have food in California?” She says as she looks him up and down. 

“Yeah,” Dean snarks back but he can’t help but smile at her. 

“Are you too stupid to eat it?” Jo huffs at him but when she’s done she gives him a big grin and a bigger hug. By the end of the night Dean feels like he has a little sister to go with his little brother. 

Lucifer is a whole different ball game. Dean can’t help but hear Cas’s voice in his head saying “That guy scares the crap out of me.” When he first lays eyes on Sam’s other partner. The thought of Cas, coupled with Lucifer’s wings, reminding him of the angel he loved and lost means that Dean is pretty out of it for their first meeting. 

He knows he blanks out during their conversation and doesn’t snap back into himself until he feels the back of Lucifer’s fingers brush the side of his face gently. Dean jerks and as his eyes meet the angel’s he is overcome with a feeling of horrible grief so strong that he staggers under the weight of it and feels tears prick at his eyes. It’s over as soon as it starts and he blinks rapidly muttering to the group “I’m sorry, I feel terrible. I think I need to sit down.”

Jo leads him to the couch and Dean overhears Lucifer telling Sam “I thought your brother was an ass; but he’s not. He’s hurting just like Castiel. How could they not know they had joined?” 

Sam’s response sounds so sad and hopeless to Dean when he says “I don’t know, babe. I don’t know.”

Dinner is relaxed and Dean manages to eat most of the meal after some encouragement from Sam and Jo. Lucifer watches him the whole meal as though he is looking for something that Dean’s hiding but not finding it. They end the night with hugs and plans for Sam to pick him up at ten the next morning. Sam drops him off at the hotel with a muttered “Good luck.” 

Dean’s so tired he’s confused as hell. He drags himself to the suite and into the shower. When he gets out he slides into his pajama pants and wanders into the living area to try and figure out the TV. When he gets into the room he slides to a stop and it’s like the world stops turning. 

Cas is standing by the couch. 

His eyes have dark circles under them and his hair is way too long. He’s grown a beard and looks thinner; which is what scares Dean the most. His angel was almost too small to begin with. He blinks at the thought. This angel doesn’t belong to him. Dean gave him away almost six months ago. 

Cas blinks as though he thinks he’s hallucinating. Then growls out “What are you doing here?”

Dean shivers at the low gravelly tone of his voice and how much his body reacts to just being in the same room as the other man. He’s proud his voice is steady when he responds “Visiting Sam. He sent me plane tickets and put me up here.”

“Fuck!” Cas snarls, “When will they learn to mind their own business?”

He heads to the other room and jerks out a bag then heads toward the door. It’s then that Dean snaps out of his paralysis. Cas is not leaving, not like this. 

“Wait!” He yells and throws himself in front of the door to the room refusing to let Cas by. “Please, just give me a few minutes.”

Cas steps back out of Dean’s personal space; his eyes are wild and Dean can feel the agitation coming off him in waves. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“I got that. You’ve been pretty clear.” Dean responds angrily. “But it’s late and you look tired. Just stay the night and sleep in the other room. I’ll go to my room and I won’t bother you. We can go our separate ways in the morning.” 

He can tell Cas is tempted. He cocks his head and regards Dean for a long moment before he abruptly turns on his heel and stalks back into the other bedroom slamming the door shut behind him.

Dean can hear him through the door several minutes later yelling “LUCIFER! You have no right! What were you thinking? No I’m not staying. This is not how to help me. I don’t need help. I’m fine.” 

Dean slides into the soft hotel bed, and stares at the ceiling. Cas is not fine. Dean’s not fine either. Something is terribly wrong with both of them and it’s not getting better. He counts out an hour after Cas hangs up the phone and probably throws it against the wall of his room. When he’s done, Dean gets out of the bed and crosses the living space to the room that Cas now occupies. He can hear the angel’s still ragged breathing from behind the door. 

Dean puts his hand on the door knob and thinks about walking away. He hurt Cas and Cas abandoned him. But Dean has nothing left to lose so he turns the knob and walks into the darkened room. He’s not prepared for the hot weight of naked angel that slams into him and presses him against the wall. 

Cas whispers darkly into his ear, “You should have let me go. I can’t leave you alone. I want you so badly.” 

Dean grabs onto Cas’s body and rubs as much of himself against the angel as he can gasping “I want you too. I want this. Let me have this, please.”

He’s not sure how they get to the bed; but he’s naked when they do, and Cas is all over him. Dean wants to slow down, to tell Cas he loves him, to work this out, but every time he tries Cas distracts him, shushes him, won’t let him continue. Dean’s frustrated and so turned on he thinks he might explode. 

Dean’s gasping into the comforter while Cas kneels behind him and slides two wet fingers into his body. He’s jerking and begging when two becomes three, and three becomes empty space. Dean’s on the verge of screaming for it when Cas slides over his back and presses deep inside of him. Dean doesn’t remember much after that he sees stars and feels complete for the first time in so, SO long. 

He comes apart and howls when Cas explodes inside of him. They lay there shuddering together, gasping and touching each other so carefully. 

It happens like that two more times that night and Dean falls into a deep untroubled sleep when the first rays of light shine in the windows. 

He wakes up later to the sound of Sam banging on the door.

Cas is gone…..again. 

Dean falls back into the bed and inhales his missing lovers scent. Cas might be running but Dean’s good at putting the missing pieces together. He knows Cas wants him, and he wants Cas. 

Dean’s smiles; it’s going to take some work but he’s going to get his man.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Dean’s gone over the hotel suite five times and Cas didn’t leave anything behind when he ran. 

Except for the feathers. 

The bed’s covered in them. Dean’s a little alarmed at how many of them are there. Cas was looking pretty rough last night but Dean hadn’t taken the time to catalog the condition of his angel’s wings. Now he wished he had. 

_My list of things I wish I had done in this relationship is never ending._

But at least he’s pretty sure that he and Cas are having a relationship now. Before it was a fling, then it was a mistake, after that it was a regret, and now it’s something to look forward to. 

All he has to do now is find Cas and convince him to stay. 

Ok, so neither of those things is probably as easy as it sounds. 

Cas took the damn trench coat too. Dean hauled that thing across the country with him because he couldn’t bear to be parted from it and now Cas stole it; though you can’t really count it as stolen since it belonged to him in the first place. Still it stings. More than ever Dean wants to bury himself in that coat and find some comfort even if it’s not real. 

Dean needs a game plan and he needs it fast if he’s going to catch up with Cas. That means he’s going to need help. Based on Cas’ phone call last night Dean’s pretty sure he knows who to ask. 

Sam’s quietly defiant on the way to his house that morning. He’s probably pissed that Dean took so long to open the door and that when he did Dean had greeted Sam with a hearty, “What the hell did you do?”

Sam insists that he had nothing to do with it. He promised Cas he would stay out of it and that’s what he’s going to do; even if he is concerned for his friend and for Dean. 

Lucifer has no such morals. 

“What do you want to know?” he says as they settle down to brunch.

Dean feels an immense swell of relief. “Whatever you can tell me,” he replies. 

Lucifer tips the salt shaker on the table back and forth while he ponders Dean’s request. When he answers it’s not to provide information but to ask for it. “What are your intentions with Castiel? If I were to give you this information; what would you do with it?”

Dean throws himself back into the chair and glares at the angel across the table from him. He’s tired and heartbroken; his nerves aching and raw under his too thin skin. He huffs, “What do you care?”

Dean’s shocked by Lucifer’s reaction. The angel picks up the salt shaker and slams it down on the table top so hard that it shatters and salt spills everywhere. He leans forward and bites out, “You are an ignorant little man that is destroying something sacred and beautiful without even understanding what you’re doing. You ask for help but you don’t know why you want it or what you’ll do when you get it. I’ve already pushed my relationship with Castiel to its limits with what I attempted to do last night but even then you couldn’t close the deal. Too pushed by your body’s base responses to see what was right in front of your face. He’s hurting, suffering, and you; you caused it. I have every right to ask you how you plan to fix it; assuming that you can.”

Sometimes in life there’s the truth and then there’s the TRUTH. Lucifer doesn’t pull his punches. Dean opens his mouth and closes it several times before he turns to Sam; his eyes saying what he’s not able to ask for. Sam grabs his plate and says, “Jo, can you help me with the dishes?” 

She’s not happy about leaving in the middle of the good part. Dean can tell. But she picks up her food and trails her fingers gently up Lucifer’s arm and across the back of his neck as she walks by. Dean watches as her touch seems to drag the tension out of the angel. He wishes there was someone there to do that for him. 

“I made a huge mistake. I should have asked him, hell I should have begged him to stay with me. But he never said he was serious about us and I couldn’t think of a good enough reason for him to want to stay with me. I love him. I want him. I think I need him. I don’t care what I have to do to make this better. But I got nothing here. I need you to help me.” Dean knows he’s blushing. But maybe it’s a sign of how desperate he is right now that he just doesn’t care. 

Lucifer regards him for a long moment before he sighs and swipes his hand across his face. He mutters, “Castiel will never forgive me for this.” When he turns back to Dean his eyes are bright and focused. 

“I’m going to give you an address. He’ll never agree to meet with you and he won’t fall for what I tried to do last night again. He’s going to be agitated and he’s not going to want to listen to you. Whatever you have to do, Dean, this is going to be your last chance. If you invade Castiel’s home and fail to convince him of your intentions he will flee and you won’t be able to find him again.” Lucifer breaths as he turns his eyes to the kitchen then nods his head toward the balcony. 

Dean follows him outside and snorts out, “What are we doing?”

Lucifer responds in a much lighter tone than he had inside, “My mates are kind hearted and caring. I’m not. They’re hoping that love will find a way or some such nonsense. I adore them both with all that I am; but that’s ridiculous.” Lucifer smiles at Dean before he continues with, “I’m going to help you because you need it and Castiel needs you.” 

“Thank you,” Dean mutters. He can feel himself gripping the railing of the balcony but he’s not able to make his hands relax. “You make this sound like its life or death.”

Lucifer doesn’t respond for so long that Dean finally turns to look at the angel and when he does he doesn’t like what he sees in Lucifer’s eyes. The angel flaps his wings once in the breeze and says so sadly, “Maybe not for you, but Castiel chose you as his mate. If you won’t accept him he will eventually die.”

Dean’s in a stupor as Sam drives him back to the hotel. He doesn’t really even remember getting out of the car and back to his room. Sam guides him into the suite and pushes Dean into the bed he shared with Cas the night before. He says, “I’m going to give you fifteen minutes. You’ve got to pull yourself together Dean. I’ll be in the living room.”

Dean rubs his hands through the feathers scattered around the king sized bed. He grabs a handful of them and presses them to his face trying to inhale Cas’ scent. Dean knows Sam is right. He’s got to get his panic under control or he’s not going to be able to do this. 

The thought of what happens if he can’t pull this off doesn’t make him feel any better. 

_What the hell have I done?_

He makes a few phone calls and takes a shower. Sam doesn’t ask him any questions; just watches his brother with concerned eyes. Dean finally can’t take it anymore and turns on Sam saying, “If you knew he was bonded to me why didn’t you just say something?”

Sam has the decency to look embarrassed. He looks down and tells the floor “I thought Lucifer was wrong about it. You never really got close to anyone; not once in our whole lives. Hell Dean, you were married and you never got all torn up about it when that ended.”

Dean snorts as he throws his stuff into a bag. 

“When Cas came back he seemed fine for a while but then he started changing. Pretty soon it was obvious he wasn’t ok. But even then he wouldn’t hear anything about contacting you. He said you didn’t want him; that you had made your choices clear.” Says Sam, his voice sounds worried and sad.

Dean thinks about how it must have looked to Cas when he spread paperwork all over his desk and shrugged off all of Cas’ attempts to talk about what would happen after he left to go home. Dean had always assumed Cas was just trying to be polite; to let him down gently. It had never occurred to him that Cas would have been willing to make plans to keep Dean in his life even if they had to live apart. 

“Why wouldn’t he just ask me come to him?” Dean whispers.

Sam’s head snaps up and he says with absolute certainty, “Because I told him you would come no matter what. It’s my fault. When we found out about the bond he had formed with you I did everything short of begging him to tell you. I told him you would do whatever it took to help him. Cas didn’t want you to know about it because he wanted you to want to be with him because you loved him not out of some sense of duty.” 

Dean closes his eyes and shakes his head. They were both right. Dean loves Cas and he wants to be with him more than he probably ever wanted anything. But even if he hadn’t; if he had known Cas was going to get sick and probably die he would have come anyway. It would have been the right thing to do. 

_What a mess._

They make a stop off for Dean to grab some supplies and Sam lets him out a block from Cas’ apartment with a hopeful, “Good luck.” 

Dean thinks he’s probably going to need it. 

No one answers the door at Cas’ place. After a brief mental debate about the legality of it Dean quietly lets himself in. The window frame takes a little damage but nothing too noticeable. He can replace it later if this all works out. 

The fucking trench coat is draped across the bed and it takes everything Dean has in him not to stuff it back into his bag just in case he has to make a speedy get-a-way. The bed is still warm and Dean can hear the water running in the bathroom. Dean’s a ball of nerves and he takes several deep breaths to get himself back under control. 

He paces the apartment while he waits and gets his first glimpse of Cas in his own space. The apartment is neat not too structured but not cluttered either. There are books on every shelf you can find and paintings that look like maybe Cas did them himself, plants in the windows, and different groups of pictures all around. Dean recognizes some of the angels in the pictures as Cas’ brothers. 

In the bedroom above the headboard there is a small collection of pictures of Dean taped to the wall. Some of them are Sam’s; Dean remembers when they were taken; others Cas must have snuck in during their time together. They show Dean unguarded and relaxed; intimate moments of a side of him he shows almost no one. They make him want to cry. 

He doesn’t know how long he stands there; lost in thought. He doesn’t hear the water turn off but somehow he can just feel Cas standing behind him. When he turns he sees his angel wet and worn down. Cas’ wings are missing feathers in clumps long the inside like maybe he’s ripping them out himself, his eyes are swollen and red and he’s standing there like he’s not sure Dean is real. 

Dean whispers, “Do you think some day; we can have someone take a picture of us together. I would like that. All of these are just of me and I’m missing you.”

Cas’ wings flap hard and he’s on Dean in a second. They slam down onto the bed and Dean’s holding onto his wayward lover for all he is worth. 

“So sorry, I didn’t mean to drive you away,” Dean’s voice is tight and he can feel the emotions choking him. 

“Hush, hush, it doesn’t matter,” Cas whispers back to him. 

Dean wishes that were true. 

They tangle into a mass of arms and legs trying to get Dean out of his clothing and yanking off Cas’ towel. Dean doesn’t really have time to think before he’s pinned down to the bed with Cas straddling on top of him sucking on his neck and chest and slicking up his dick. It’s wild and fast and there is a hard edge of desperation in Cas’ movements and he writhes on top of Dean. It brings tears to Dean’s eyes. 

When it’s over Cas collapses into Dean’s arms and Dean strokes his back, hair and wings for as long as Cas allows it. When he draws back Dean clings to his angel and buries his face into Cas’ warmth. He relaxes and counts the moments until Cas drifts off to sleep. 

It’s the hitting the floor that wakes him several hours later. He looks up from the ground at the agitated, naked angel that he hopes will be his mate. 

Cas jerks his arm again and questions, “Dean, what did you do?”

Dean waves his arm back at Cas and smiles, “Trying to run off on me again? I don’t think so.”

Cas looks at the heavy hand cuffs connecting his and Dean’s arms. He demands, “Take them off NOW.” 

Dean flops back to the floor and stretches. He says, “Sorry, I can’t do that. I don’t have the key.”

Cas looks for all the world like he’s going to stomp his feet and throw a fit. He replies, “Then who does?”

Dean shrugs, “I don’t know who has it now. I gave it to Sam and he said he was going to give it to Lucifer and he said he was going to get rid of it.” 

Cas looks at him for a long moment before he throws his head back and yells “FUCK FUCK FUCK!”


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

Dean’s hoping that Cas wears down soon. With all the ranting the angel is doing the cuffs are starting to chafe Dean’s arm. 

His complaint on the matter is met with less than concern.

“This is all your fault!” Cas yells for what must be the fifteenth time.

“Yeah, I know, we’ve covered this,” Dean drawls out.

“You should never have come here,” is Cas’ less than friendly reply.

“Yep, we’ve covered that too,” Dean comments.

Dean trips Cas on his next pass by. The angel’s been pacing as much as the tight quarters will let him for three hours. Cas lands in a heap on the floor at Dean’s feet. When Dean reaches out to steady him, Cas jerks as far away from him as he can. 

“What’s the matter? Eight hours ago you couldn’t keep your hands off me,” Dean spits out. He’s tired, hurt, and frustrated. He thought this would force Cas to talk to him. Instead it’s just made the angel aggressive and angry. 

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. It’s very difficult for me to not touch you,” Cas mutters as he drags his hand across his beard covered cheek. Cas’ eyes look so tired. “Please, Dean, I’m begging you; undo the cuffs. You’re hurting me. Being this close to you for so long hurts me.” 

Dean feels his stomach clench. He can see the truth in Cas’ eyes. The angel is suffering. He responds sadly, “I told you Cas, I don’t have the key. Lucifer has it.”

But he can’t resist the pain he sees reflected in the angel’s eyes.

Dressing is an unholy pain in the ass and shirts are impossible. Dean hadn’t really thought it all through when he was making the plan. 

They end up in the car with Cas driving. His right arm chained to Dean’s left. Dean crawls over the gear shift to get to the passenger seat. Every time he opens his mouth to try and actually talk to Cas about how he feels and what’s happening between them; Cas jams his foot down even harder on the accelerator and tells Dean to shut up. 

They get to Lucifer’s house in record time. 

Jo opens the door and beams a smile at both of them before asking in her most sarcastic voice, “So, when’s the wedding?”

Cas growls at her and Dean has to jerk him back by the arm when Cas reaches out to grab her. 

“Castiel!” Lucifer booms from behind his mate; Jo jerking back in shock from the door, “You will behave yourself in my home.”

“Give me the key, Lucifer,” Cas demands as he drags Dean into the house.

“I can’t,” Lucifer replies.

“Why not?” Cas groans.

“I don’t have it. I gave it to Gabriel,” Lucifer narrows his eyes as he makes the statement.

“Where is Gabriel then?” Cas asks; his voice shaky and posture tense.

“Poland,” is the response from Jo. “For a week.”

Cas shrieks, “A WEEK?!” so loudly that some of the glasses on the kitchen counter crack. 

He starts to pant and Dean worries that the angel is going to pass out. Lucifer reaches out to steady his friend and Cas presses his face into the other angels shirt as he asks, “Lucifer, what have you done?”

“I’ve saved you from loneliness, old friend. I’ve given you what you need,” Lucifer whispers as he wraps his wings around Cas.

“It will be too late by the time Gabriel gets back. We will be bonded and Dean will hate me,” Cas chokes out.

Lucifer forces Cas’ head back until he can look him in the eye and then forces Cas to turn his head to look at Dean before he replies, “There’s no hate here my friend. Let him make you happy.”

Cas finally lets him talk in the living room. Dean’s trying to pretend that Sam, Jo, and Lucifer aren’t pressed against the wall in the kitchen staring in at them as indiscreetly as possible. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Dean whispers. “I didn’t think you wanted to stay with me.”

Cas shakes his head slowly. His hands shake as he fidgets and squirms on the couch. 

“Are you okay, Cas?” Dean questions. “Lucifer said you were sick; that being away from me was hurting you.”

“Lucifer needs to mind HIS OWN FUCKING BUSINESS,” Cas shouts over Dean’s head to the crowd. 

Dean can’t see Lucifer but he’s pretty sure from Cas’ reaction that the other angel just flipped Cas the bird. 

_God, I have such a bad headache._

It’s pretty clear that they aren’t going to make any headway on the topic of longer term relationships and bonding right now. Cas is exhausted and frankly not making a lot of sense. Dean can hear his heartbeat in his ears and is starving. Lucifer blessedly takes charge. 

The other angel shoves Cas into a reclining position on the sofa and pushes Dean over until he is basically on top of Cas. Then Jo brings Dean a bagel. When he’s fed and his head is pounding less Dean drags Cas to backseat of the car, pours them both in, and Lucifer drives them home. 

When they collapse on the bed Lucifer leans over a highly irritated Cas and says to Dean, “Let him sleep, hold him tight, and tell him you love him every chance you get.”

Cas barks at the other angel to get out. Lucifer pats him on the head and laughs as he heads for the door.

Cas glares at Dean accusingly while Dean strips off his shoes and pants before sliding under the covers.

The angel sighs and does the same. When Cas curls on his side facing Dean the angel reaches out and intertwines their fingers. “Dean,” Cas starts.

“I love you Cas,” Dean interrupts. “Let’s get some sleep ok?”  
Dean’s grateful when the angel agrees.

Dean wakes up to gentle touches and warmth. He almost doesn’t want to open his eyes because it’s the best dream he’s had in a damn long time. When he finally works up the nerve to peek, Cas is staring at him as his wings trail up and down Dean’s body. 

“Hey Cas,” Dean grumbles in a voice rough from sleep.

“Hello Dean,” Cas replies; reaching up his free hand to stroke along the side of Dean’s face. “I’ve missed you,” Cas whispers.

Dean catches hold of Cas’ hand and squeezes before he presses a kiss to the angels palm. He replies, “I’ve missed you too. Will you talk to me? I have a lot of stuff I need to tell you.”

Cas brushes his fingers along Dean’s lips and sighs, “Of course, after all this I owe you far more than a conversation. But can we shower and eat first? I’m hungry for the first time in weeks.” 

Dean’s heart does a flip flop in his chest. They drag to the bathroom and after some hysterical negotiations finally end up in the shower together. Trying to figure out how to give each other privacy was just too hard. Dean’s just grateful for the chance to touch Cas. The angel leans against the shower wall and closes his eyes as Dean runs his soapy hands all over Cas’ body. He’s humming by the time Dean reaches his wings. 

The missing patches of feathers cause Dean’s hands to falter. Cas cracks open his eyes and grimaces at the conversation he knows is coming. 

“How did this happen?” Dean whispers. Rubbing his fingertips along the exposed skin of Cas’ wing. 

Cas twitches but answers, “Angels molt; if we are under great duress or not caring for our wings properly the feathers loosen and then fall out.” 

Dean’s not satisfied with the answer; he’s far too intuitive to miss the fact that Cas is hedging the truth. The angel squirms but continues, “I pull on my feathers when I’m emotional. It’s unconscious; I’m not even aware I’m doing it. I’ve never pulled them out before now.”

Dean grinds down his teeth trying not to yell or cry; he’s not really sure which right now. Something must show in his face because Cas withdraws into himself and Dean washes off as fast as he can; suddenly desperate to get out of this confined space. 

Breakfast is subdued; Cas picks at his fruit without any real interest or intent. Dean watches with a slow burn of building fury until Cas pushes his chair back and mutters, “I’m done.”

Dean erupts, “You hate me so much that you would rather be pulling out your feathers and starving yourself than to spend time with me. What the hell Cas? I’m not that bad. I know I’m rude and arrogant and insensitive; I work too much and I’m hard to live with. I know it; but I didn’t think I was this unbearable.” 

Cas is staring at him like he’s suddenly become a mythical creature with a horn. 

“WHAT?” Dean challenges.

Cas cocks his head to the side and waves his fork in Deans face, “You think I don’t want you?” 

“You’ve run away from me twice and have spent the last day and half chained to me trying to get away; so what the fuck else am I supposed to think?” Dean replies.

Cas shakes his head slowly and says, “Just so I’m clear here; you’re upset because you think I don’t want you.”

“Yes,” Dean says.

“But you love me and you want me to stay with you?” Cas states.

Dean knows it’s not really a question but he says “Yes,” anyway.

Cas smiles; it’s bright and blinding as he jumps up from the table and comments, “I’m in the mood for waffles. Do you like waffles? I make great waffles. Come on I’ll need you to help me make them.” 

Dean allows himself to be dragged into the kitchen and follows instructions as the angel teaches him the secret to making perfect waffles. 

As Cas is mixing Dean is shocked to find the angel singing along with the radio. He looks over and says, “Dude, you’re a little bipolar; you know that?” 

Cas bumps into Dean with his shoulder and blushes before he responds, “I thought I was trapping you into something you didn’t want. I never thought that you might feel rejected. But then you just kept showing up and I didn’t know what to do. Never doubt that you’re wanted Dean. Never doubt that you’re loved.” 

Dean smiles as Cas leans in to kiss him; all warmth and affectionate acceptance.

“I love you too,” he whispers into Cas’ mouth. 

The waffles are angelic. But Dean’s pretty sure he shouldn’t have been surprised.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Dean watches with a strange fascination as the tension drains out of Cas over the next few days. It’s almost like finding the angel he fell in love with all over again; buried under stress and illness. 

It actually hurts a little. Dean’s starting to understand just how sick Cas was making himself. 

“How long will it take for them to grow back?” Dean asks as he runs his hands over Cas’ wings where he knows chocolate brown feathers should be gleaming. Instead it’s just pink swollen skin and fluff. 

Cas bows his head and leans until their noses bump together before he responds, “A few months until they will begin to fill in. It might take a year for them to fully recover.”

Dean doesn’t try to resist the urge to pull the angel into his lap and hold him. He runs his hands over Cas’ back and legs feeling how thin his lover has become. But it’s Cas who comments, “You’ve lost so much weight. What happened while we were apart?”

Dean snorts into Cas’ hair and replies, “The same thing that happened to you, I guess. I just didn’t feel like being without you. Everything was a struggle.” And in a softer voice, “Sometimes it was hard to just keep breathing.”

Cas’ wings fold around them both and Dean lets out a tired sigh. On the scale of things he has fucked up badly; this one has to be the top. “I’m so sorry, Cas,” he whispers.

“It was my fault,” Cas responds. “I should have been more aware. It just never occurred to me that an angel could form a bond with a human. I was unprepared for it.”

“You fell in love with me?” Dean’s asking a question without actually having to say it. But he needs the affirmation. 

Cas strokes his fingers over Dean’s face and down his chest before breathing into Dean’s neck, “Yes. I fell for you so hard and one night while you were sleeping and our time was getting short I wrapped my grace around your soul and held you as tightly as I could. I shouldn’t have done it; but I wanted to really feel you before I lost you forever.”

Dean tugs on Cas’ wings gently as he replies, “I used to whisper how much I loved you to you while you slept.”

_Yeah, okay. That’s embarrassing._

But Dean didn’t need to worry about it. Cas jerked his head back and stares at him wild eyed before blurting, “I thought I had been dreaming.” 

Dean blushes and Cas chuckles as he runs his fingertip down the bridge of Dean’s nose. “Gorgeous,” Cas comments and Dean shames himself by flaming a brighter shade of pink. 

Cas chuckles and reaches up to scratch at his own face, “I need to shave.”

Dean couldn’t agree more. He’s been the recipient of beard burn in the most sensitive of places. In fact, he’s feeling a little raw all over. 

They end up in the shower again. It takes forever; instead of arguing they find themselves distracted by the curves and bends of each others bodies; both of them annoyed by the tug and pull of the handcuffs. Dean growls out a possessive, “I can’t wait to get these damn things off so I can hold you with both hands.” 

Cas heartily agrees; the soap and pouring water making it difficult to keep his footing and get any leverage. He’s looking forward to being claimed.

Shaving is impossible. Cas just can’t do it by himself. Dean ends up sitting on the countertop in Cas’ thankfully large bathroom and pulling the angel between his spread legs. 

“I’ve never done this to anyone before,” Dean breathes nervously.

Cas’ gaze never falters as he leans his head back and exposes his neck to Dean, “I trust you; you’ll take care of me.”

If he hadn’t just gotten off, Dean’s pretty sure he would need to change his pants right now. 

The razor is a slow drag of intimacy across Cas’ cheeks and throat as well as between them. Like it’s a sign that they’re peeling away the last of whatever this distance has built between them. 

Dean’s hands are shaking and he feels like he just drank eight cups of coffee. Cas’ breathing is ragged and he’s clinging to Dean’s pants; fists pulling and twisting the material. When Cas lets out a whimper Dean finally takes charge.

“Cas,” he whispers, voice so loud in this too quiet a room. “Whatever it is you’re trying not to do I wish you would just go ahead and do it.”

Cas blinks up at the ceiling and Dean watches a slow tear slide back into his hair. 

“Baby,” Dean begs. “Please.”

Cas doesn’t respond verbally; but he offers a shaky nod just before Dean shaves off the last stripe of beard. Dean lays the razor to the slide and wipes off the shaving cream before pulling Cas closer to his chest and pressing kisses to the newly exposed skin. Cas crowds into Dean burying his head into Dean’s neck while his wings flap and thrash. 

Dean thinks he should be able to feel something happening; this is clearly a huge deal to Cas. But he doesn’t and Cas twists in his arms and sobs into his neck until it starts to scare Dean. 

_Maybe whatever this is was a bad idea._

When Cas’ wings swing out and hit the mirror so hard it cracks, Dean drags them both out of the bathroom and collapses onto the bed. It does little to ease what Dean can only call Cas’ suffering and Dean’s frantic for a way to stop whatever is going on. 

Then he feels it; this giant rush of warmth from out of nowhere. It surrounds Dean and wraps him up. He’s dimly aware of what must be Cas laughing; but Dean’s too blissed out on a feeling of joy to be able to respond. 

He comes around to the sound of Cas humming happily and nuzzling every square inch of Dean he can reach. Dean’s pretty sure he died and this is heaven. He gets a trickle of amusement and realizes it must be coming from Cas. 

“So are we married now or what?” Dean chuckles.

Cas’ hair is sticking up in ten different directions but his grin is beautiful and sincere. He leans back onto his elbow and with a flippant twist of his wings responds, “Yup.” 

Dean laughs harder than he has in months. 

“That took some serious work on your part,” he mutters as he strokes down Cas’ side.

The angel blushes slightly before commenting, “Bonding is difficult even for two angels. It takes a lot of effort and I have not been taking care of myself. I wasn’t sure I could join with you like that. It was hard but well worth it.” 

“Took you a while to find me?” Dean questions and he means it as a joke.

Cas pulls him close before responding, “Took me a while to stop running away.”

Dean goes to reach for his lover only to get his hand stuck by the handcuffs he has only himself to blame for. He groans.

Cas sighs, “I hate them too. Only three more days until Gabriel comes back.”

Cas must sense the fluctuation in Dean’s soul because he leans over Dean with suspicion in his eyes and asks, “What?”

“Look under the bed,” Dean mutters, “attached to the frame.”

Cas dives almost off the side of the bed and Dean hears the rip as the angel pulls off the tape. 

Cas looks shocked more than annoyed, “You had the key the whole time.” 

Dean shrugs before responding, “Sam was scared you would try to kill me so he wanted me to have a key close by. But I knew if I told you then you would just make me unlock it so Lucifer said he would cover for me.”

“You lied,” Cas accuses.

“Yeah, but I love you,” Dean offers.

Before he’s really clear what’s happening Cas is yanking his arm and dragging it into his lap pushing the key in and twisting off the cuffs that were once the only thing keeping them together. “We don’t need these anymore,” the angel commands.

Dean doesn’t get a lot of time to process before he has an armload of his demanding aroused mate. Cas is all over him and Dean’s gasping under the weight of the physical sensations coupled with his own arousal and the feelings Cas is now projecting through their link. 

He hears Cas gasping, “Take me, claim me, mark me yours; make me yours.”

And how are you going to turn down an offer like that?

They still have details to work out, things to discuss, plans to make. But Dean’s pretty sure they’re going to get it all worked. Right after the honeymoon.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

They don’t come out of their love nest for three days. Not even to answer the phone. Dean and Cas spend their days reveling in this new bond they have and getting to know each other in a whole new way. 

“I hate cake,” Dean huffs out. “Pie is way better. There should be a pie only law; no cakes allowed.”

Cas laughs and pokes him in the ribs. Dean chuckles and shrugs, “What? I can hate cake. It’s no big deal.”

“I love diner food,” Cas offers sheepishly. As Dean replies, “Really?” with a wink and nudge, Cas’ resolve crumbles and he hides his face in the pillows and blurts, “I love double bacon cheeseburgers. I love them so much. They’re horrible but ever since you took me out to that one little place next to the school I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them.”

“So it’s just the cheeseburgers between us then?” Dean jokes; only to be out done by Cas’ somber face and puppy dog eyes as his mate replies, “Yes Dean, I have tied my grace to yours for the rest of our lives because you give good cheeseburger.”

Dean shoves Cas off the bed. 

They finally get enough of each other to go eat at Lucifer, Sam and Jo’s house. But they’re a half hour late and Dean has a huge hickey by the time they get there. 

“Glad you could make it,” Sam remarks snidely. But he gives Dean a tight hug and sighs with relief when he receives one of his own from Cas.

“I wasn’t sure you would forgive me,” Sam says.

Cas grins as he replies, “There’s nothing to forgive you for.”  
He doesn’t go as easy on Lucifer. Cas glowers at the other angel for so long that Lucifer finally exclaims, “Oh stop it! It was for your own good and you know it.”

They chuckle and everyone breathes out a sigh of relief. 

Jo is hysterical and obstinate and Dean has to admire the way she runs both of her lovers around with demands and expectations until dinner is finally served and they settle down to eat. She remarks, “I expect high praise for all the effort I put into this meal.” Dean bites his lip to keep from laughing as Sam’s face contorts into something horrible and Lucifer replies, “All the work WHO put into this meal?”

Sam’s very content here. It eases Dean’s mind to know his brother is happy; especially with this unexpected gift he’s been given in the form of Cas. Jo’s question of, “So what’s next for you guys?” puts a hold on Dean’s contemplation of Sam’s future. He had forgotten he didn’t exactly have plan past keep Cas forever. 

“Um,” he stammers. “We hadn’t really talked about it.”

“Dude,” Sam says. “What have you been doing for four days?”

Jo raises her eyebrows and pats Sam on the hand before responding, “Honey, if you can’t figure that one out on your own then Lucifer and I have been neglecting you.”

Cas laughs and Dean is distracted by the rush of warmth his happiness creates. There’s a cough from his left and when he meets Lucifer’s amused gaze he blushes and states, “I don’t know how you all do this. It’s so overwhelming with me being able to feel Cas. I wouldn’t be able to get anything done if there were three of us.”

It’s the silence that greats his statement that alarms him even before he catches a low pulse of grief from his mate. 

“What did I say?” he asks.

“Dean,” Sam replies slowly as he picks at his food and swipes at his napkin. “We’re not mated.”

The shock hits Dean like a cold glass of water to the face. He turns to Lucifer and demands, “What the hell? Are they not good enough for you? Don’t you love them? You and all your bullshit about me and Cas and you’re too chicken to try it yourself.”

He’s angry and it doesn’t help that Sam looks so defeated. Cas is tugging on his arm and when Dean doesn’t respond, starts pouring feelings of reassurance through their new bond. Dean quiets and it’s Jo that replies, “We’ve been too afraid to try it. Until the two of you we didn’t even know it was possible. What if three people can’t form a bond and then one of us is forever left on the outside. I couldn’t live with that.”

“Neither could I,” Sam states. 

It should be enough; it really should. Sam is clearly begging for Dean to drop it. But this is his brother and it’s so not right in Dean’s world that he’s found happiness and it’s denied to Sam. Dean’s never been one to let anything go. It’s what made him a good criminologist; he’s driven and dogged and determined. He’s not willing to drop it here. 

“You haven’t even tried,” he says right to Sam. “What you have, now that I know there’s more possible; it wouldn’t be enough for me. You shouldn’t have to settle. You should push until you get what you want.”

Sam remains silent and Jo escapes to the kitchen with a question of, “Who wants desert?”

Lucifer approaches him later, on the balcony and asks, “What does it feel like to you? The bond you and Cas share; how does it feel?”

Dean ponders that question. It’s hard to describe and so new to Dean that he struggles with a response; finally settling on, “It feels like home.” At Lucifer’s saddened expression Dean adds, “My brother has never failed to get what he wanted. He’s not so different than me. He’ll fight for this; if you let him.”

On the ride home Cas says quietly, “You’ve given them a lot to think about tonight.”

“Yeah,” Dean replies; which brings up a whole other thing. “Cas, we gotta talk about what we’re doing here. All my stuff is still on the other side of the country and I have deadlines and responsibilities to meet.”

Cas squeezes his hand and Dean relaxes into the pull of warmth from their bond. This will work out; he’s certain of it.

He’s licking his way down Cas’ back, between his mate’s wings, when Cas brings it up again. 

“Would you like to go back home to live?” Cas asks, and Dean smiles into his skin at how shaky the angel’s voice sounds. 

Dean trails a hand up the inside of Cas’ bare thigh and nips on his hip before commenting, “No, everything I love in the world is right here. I just really need to go get my stuff and sell off what I don’t need.”

Cas groans and buries his head into the pillow as he grinds down into the sheets while Dean trails teasing fingers from his inner thigh over his ass again and again before sliding up his back towards his wings. He chuckles as the pulse of the angel’s disappointment blasts through the bond. 

“Tease,” Cas whispers even as he spreads his wings out further for Dean to rub and press the sensitive skin where the joint is. 

“You love it,” Dean comments as he presses his naked body onto Cas’ warm pliant form. 

“I do,” Cas replies gasping as Dean tugs the feathers on his wings. 

Afterwards, in the darkness as Dean pulls his mate close and Cas collapses sweaty and boneless against his side he ponders, “I can do what I do anywhere; my contacts can just send me the stuff they need me to look at and I can work from here or get an office somewhere.”

Cas purrs in contentment and Dean takes that as acceptance of this one issue resolved. Though it does bring up something Dean was wondering about.

“Sam said you quit your job?” he asks, and the angel stretches and answers, “Yes, but don’t worry about it. I have a job lined up and plan to start immediately.”

It’s the first time Dean’s heard about that. “Really? Doing what?” he questions.

Cas nods emphatically, “I’m going to be your partner.”

Dean looks up at the ceiling and is grateful for the darkness of the room. He knows Cas can still feel his happiness seeping between them; it’s not that part that bothers him. 

It’s the huge dopey grin that Dean can’t wipe off his face.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

“Dean,” Cas chuckles, “if you don’t get your hand out of my pants then I’m never going to be able to finish packing.”

Dean laughs as he pulls his mate back into his lap and wraps his arms around him. “It’s not my fault you know. I look up and you’re bent over this box; all I see are wings and your sweet, hot, ass and I can’t keep my hands to myself.”

Cas squirms against him and Dean groans into his neck. But as usual it’s the angel that breaks first, blushing pink and giggling as he squirms free of Dean’s grip.

“We are going to be here for the rest of our lives if I don’t make you go work in the other room.” Cas flaps his wings in a dismissing gesture that Dean ignores in favor of sliding a hand up the inside of the angel’s jean covered thigh. 

“You wouldn’t do that,” Dean teases, “I’d be lonely.”

“Dean,” Cas orders as he dislodges Dean’s wandering hand for what must be the thousandth time. “Get out of this room.”

Dean leaves reluctantly, sticking his tongue out at Cas all the way. 

Cas gives it five minutes before he drops what he is packing and runs into the other room. He leans back against the wall and Dean slides to his knees. Cas’ eyes roll shut and his wings spread wide. He moans and whimpers while Dean takes him apart little by little. 

Two hours later Cas is still trying to finish packing the same damn box. But he’s doing it with a smile. 

Dean’s apartment was a mess. In the months since Cas had last seen it you could clearly see the stamp of neglect and depression that Dean had been experiencing. Cas is torn between feeling horrible for his mate and the tiny bit of happiness that he feels from knowing he wasn’t suffering alone during that horrible time. 

His wings itch all the time. Cas’ battered feathers are starting to regrow. Pink gaps of skin are now covered in a fine layer of fluff. Dean loves to pet the extra soft new growth. Cas feels like he has a horrible peeling sun burn. He swears daily that he will never pull his feathers out again. 

They’ve been packing up all of Dean’s stuff. Some of it to ship back to Cas’ place for them to use and most of it to sell. There are a few family remembrances that they are bringing home to Sam. Old case files and notebooks have been shipped to their respective owners. They’ve rented an office near their home to work out of and Cas has been relieved by how unconcerned Dean’s contacts have been by the move. 

The digital age is a miracle. Dean was right, he can work from anywhere. And from the looks of it Cas’ organizational skills are sorely needed. How Dean finds anything in this mess is unbelievable. 

Cas catches the end of a rather loud conversation Dean is having with Sam over the phone. 

Dean is saying, “No Sam, bull shit.” There is a pause and he continues, “I’m not talking to you about this anymore. You’re just stalling and you’re being stupid. Just do it.” Another pause and Dean yelling, “Do it! Do it!” Then silence.

“I take it the bonding is going slowly?” Cas asks. 

Dean glares at him for along moment before muttering, “My brother is too stupid to live.” 

Cas chuckles and rubs his wing against the side of Dean’s body. Dean grabs it and uses it to pull him in for kisses. As he holds the angel close he whispers, “I just can’t get enough of you.” 

The feeling is entirely mutual. 

Cas will just have to finish that box tomorrow.

****

Cas starts awake to the sound of his mate shouting, “God Damn it Sammy, just fucking do it already.” He’s had enough. Cas grabs the phone out of Dean’s hand and directs Sam to, “Put Lucifer on the phone please.”

There is a shuffle and some frantic whispering which Cas can only imagine is Lucifer trying to refuse to speak to him. Sam finally grinds out, “Take it!” and Cas finds himself on the phone with the other angel. 

“Hello,” is Lucifer’s tentative greeting.  
Cas is groggy and irritable he gets right to the point. “You will complete this bonding by the time we return home or I will bond with both your mates and leave you all alone. You’re driving me crazy and irritating Dean. Stop being so childish.” 

He hangs up without a goodbye, tosses the phone out into the hallway and wraps himself around Dean as much as he can. 

“Cas,” Dean asks. “Can you really do that?”

“I have no idea,” Cas answers. “But it’s a good threat.”

“Dude, I can’t marry my brother,” Dean sounds disturbed.

“I don’t know,” Cas teases, “I think it might be kind of hot.”

He’s still laughing as Dean dumps him out of the bed and onto the floor. 

Dean rolls out of bed and moves toward the shower nudging Cas with his foot on the way by. Cas lays on the floor for a long moment, for the first time in his life joy is a tangible thing. 

The rest of the week goes by with silence on the home front. Either they are too busy to call or they are afraid to check in. Cas is hopeful for the first option. Dean says he doesn’t care as long as they keep it to themselves, but Cas knows him well enough to know that Dean is concerned. He can feel the worry in his mate’s soul. 

They finish packing and cleaning, and are finally ready to leave the little apartment behind. 

“I’m going to miss this place,” Cas blurts as they go to shut the door for the last time.

Dean raises an eyebrow, “Why?”

Cas strokes his hand down Dean’s back in a long slow movement. “This is where we fell in love.”

“God you’re such a sap,” Dean laughs, but he pulls Cas in close and his soul speaks volumes in warmth and love. 

The phone is ringing right before they get to the airport. When Dean answers, there is loud noises and yelling; a cacophony of noise. Dean says nothing but when he shuts the phone he turns to Cas and says, “They did it.” 

At Cas’ questioning look Dean shakes his head and replies, “Trust me. You do NOT want to know.”


	8. Chapter 8

Part 7B

Sam grins at the weight that settles against his bare back on the floor; blond hair trailing over his shoulder giving away which of his lovers has come to pay him a visit. 

“What are you reading?” Jo whispers as she presses tender kisses into his spine. 

“I’m doing research on bonding,” Sam replies and winces as she immediately tenses against him. 

“I wish you would stop this,” she mutters as she slides down onto the floor beside him; it’s as Sam suspected, she’s naked, all golden skin and soft curves. He puts the book away.

“I can’t help it,” he sighs as he bends to nuzzle at her breasts. “I’m in love, I want to keep you.”

“No one is leaving you Sam,” she reassures him as she slides fingers through his hair. 

But there’s an ache inside that Sam can’t dismiss. They’re not complete; this beautiful thing they have at risk of breaking. 

It’s easy to let her distract him away from those thoughts as she loosens his pants to slide her hands inside. He’s gasping, and pulling her closer murmuring; “I love you,” into her skin. 

They’re still curled up together on the floor when Lucifer comes home later. He grins when he sees the total state of disarray his two partners have created. 

“Tough research it seems,” he jokes. At Sam’s blush and Jo’s snort of laughter he drops his bags and pulls loose his tie. “Room down there for more?” he questions and sighs delightedly when four arms reach up to drag him down. 

Sam watches as Lucifer pointedly avoids looking at the book Sam was reading. He buries his strong hands into Lucifer’s feathers and yanks on them just the way the angel likes it. Sam gets a moan in return and Lucifer hisses. Sam’s not sure exactly what Jo is doing between them but he’s sure it is fantastic. 

****

Sam holds the phone away from his ear when Dean starts yelling, “DO IT DO IT,” at him over and over. His brother just doesn’t get it. It was different for Dean. 

The older Winchester stumbled head first unawares into a mating bond. Sam knows he suffered because of his ignorance but part of him wishes he could be as lucky. He’s the middle man in a battle of wills. 

Lucifer doesn’t believe it’s even possible to bind the three of them and therefore won’t consent to even try. Sam appreciates his concern; if two of them were mated and then one of them is left out unable to complete the bond it would be horribly painful. The rejection might be enough to drive the third party away.

Jo doesn’t even want to talk about it to the point that Lucifer suspects she doesn’t want to be bonded to them together. Sam knows it’s a cover; Jo’s terrified of being alone and of being bonded. Her insecurities run deep; there’s a feeling of never belonging that she just can’t seem to let go of no matter how much affection she’s showered with. 

Sam sighs as he hangs up on Dean. There’s no reason to continue the conversation. If Sam could tie both his lovers up and make them bond with him he would; the whole issue would be resolved; and they could all be happy. But life’s not being so kind to Sam these days.

They’re fighting again when he reaches the kitchen. Something about the mixture of Jo and Lucifer that makes both their aggressive sides come out. It has its benefits; Sam’s had many a thrilling night of passion with them trying to outdo each other pleasing him. The down side includes days like this.

“If you don’t like it then get your own,” Jo flings at Lucifer.

The angel flaps his wings and shouts, “THIS WAS MY COFFEE, YOU TOOK IT.”

“What’s your point?” she demands.

Lucifer puffs up for a big blow out; Sam’s seen it all before. He grabs his keys and slams out of the kitchen tossing back over his shoulder, “I’ve got to get out of here.”

He doesn’t look back as he drives away. 

Sam stays gone for most of the day. He strolls down town and lies on his back in the park watching the sky. They give him some space, Jo and Lucifer always so good about that. Only a few random text messages to check up on him, tell him he is loved and missed at home. 

It breaks his heart. He crawls home late that evening, Sam’s tired and restless and hungry. There’s a plate of food in the fridge for him beside his favorite beer that he knows they only have because he likes it. He eats in silence and slips down the hallway to the living room where he collapses on the couch and does the only thing he can think of doing. He calls his brother to pout. 

Dean’s not happy about getting woken up so early. Sam’s just a hair on the side of too tired to care. 

He’s not expecting Cas to be so grumpy, ever since he and Dean got it together the angel’s been floating on cloud nine. But Sam’s always followed directions well so when his brother-in-law demands to talk to his angel boyfriend Sam obediently goes to the bedroom and wakes Lucifer up. 

The only problem being that once Lucifer finds out who’s on the other end of the line he doesn’t want to talk to Cas. Sam rams the phone into his hand with a fierce “TAKE IT,” and flops on the bed beside Jo who drags him in for cuddles and helps him peel off his shoes and pants. 

Lucifer is nodding even though everyone knows Cas can’t see him. It doesn’t really seem to matter much. The angel starts to say something; Sam’s not sure what but the phone clicks and Lucifer turns to them and says wonderingly, “He hung up on me.”

“What did he say?” Jo asks pulling Lucifer back down to curl with them on the bed. 

Lucifer cringes and mutters, “He told me if I didn’t mate with you by the time they got back he was stealing you both for himself.”

Jo laughs, “That little angel couldn’t handle me.”

Sam snorts as Lucifer replies, “You know, I think you’re right about that.”

They ignore it for a day and Sam allows them all that. By the morning after, when he knows Dean and Cas are coming home soon, Sam’s ready to put his foot down.

“I want us to bond,” he blurts out over dinner.

His two partners look at him wild eyed. 

“I mean it,” Sam continues, “this thing that we have right now, it’s not going to last. We all want more than this, we need it and I’m not going to accept that we aren’t going to try.”

Jo’s holding her fork so hard that it bends in her hand. 

Lucifer sighs wearily and concedes defeat, “When would you suggest we attempt this?”

That’s one man down as far as Sam’s concerned, when he looks back at Jo he can tell she’ll be soon to follow. Her eyes are bright with unshed tears and she’s slipped her hand across the table to tangle her fingers with the angel’s. 

“Now,” Sam smiles. 

After all there’s not time like the present. 

They have a brief debate about who goes first. After all, no matter what Lucifer is walking out the door with a mate tonight. Sam’s forceful in his demand that he sit the first attempt out. His lovers argue; he doesn’t care. Sam’s human and human’s don’t have this kind of thing when they marry each other. If he can at least get his angelic counterparts together, even if the bond excludes him, he can live with that. Besides, Jo’s halfling nature makes the process easier on Lucifer; the chance of success is higher with her, so she finally agrees to go first. 

It’s strangely not sexual. For some reason Sam had always thought it was spontaneous; occurring at the height of passion. Lucifer looks at him blankly before growling out, “Do you have any idea how much concentration this takes?” Sam settles back against the pillows pulling Jo between his body and Lucifer’s and wrapping his arms around her. Lucifer’s wing wraps around both of them and as the angel buried his face into her neck Sam hears him whisper, “I love you.” 

It’s so quiet Sam can hear them breathing, sharp stuttering breaths against each other as they try to find a way to link. It’s a brief period of time before Lucifer’s wings twitch and Jo chuckles pulling the angel from her neck to kiss him sweetly. 

“Well, hello there,” Lucifer gasps at her and Jo tips her head back and giggles with joy. 

The flash of jealousy Sam feels is unexpected; so much for being emotionally ready for rejection. He’s still churning with his shame as the newly mated pair pull him in between them and hold him close. Lucifer snuggling into Sam and moaning with happy approval and Sam pulls him tight. 

“Are you alright?” Sam asks worriedly. Lucifer stretches and fights back a yawn, “Just tired. This takes a lot of energy.”

“We can wait,” Sam offers though he completely wants this done with right now, “If it would be easier for you.” 

“Yeah Sam,” comes the response from Jo. “We’ll get right on that, now shut up.”

Sam’s thankful Dean told him that he didn’t feel anything while it was happening. If he hadn’t already known that he would have been more worried than he already is. Lucifer breaks out into a fine sheen of sweat and his wings tremble and twist with effort while Sam hears Jo gasp behind him. It feels like an eternity is passing and grief overwhelms Sam. They’re not going to be able to do this. 

Lucifer freezes, “Sam whatever you just felt I need you to do it again.” 

“What?” Sam blurts.

“I’m having a hard time linking to you, whatever you were just feeling was strong, it made things clearer, I need more of it.” Lucifer demands. 

“You want me to think happy thoughts?” Sam questions because after all his harassment of them, he is so not going to tell them he thought they failed. 

“Think whatever you have to just do it loud and do it now,” Lucifer orders. 

Sam closes his eyes and focuses on the two people in bed with him, flashes of Jo’s laughter and Lucifer singing horribly in the shower, the two of them on his desk after Christmas vacation, her naked body bathed in sunlight, rain pouring down streaking Lucifer’s wings, the first time they told him they love him and each other, the first time the three of them curled in bed together and tried to work out what went where and who went first and how to please each other and not leave anyone out.

And suddenly he’s not alone in his feelings. There’s a jumble of overwhelming feeling rippling through his body and Sam gasps and tears come to his eyes as he reaches for both of his mates. 

“Oh God, oh God,” he hears Jo chanting behind him; Lucifer pressing against him with an exhausted smile.

“You did it,” Sam sighs and his husband blinks at him before responding, “No Sam. We did it; all of us.”

The bliss of married life is questionable. The next day is the same as before. Lucifer and Jo are in the kitchen yelling about who ruined the coffee and why one of them has to do the dishes again because they did it last time. Sam smiles as he calls Dean holding the phone out, so that his brother can hear the rather loud discussion currently occurring close by. Jo yelling so loudly that Sam is sure Dean hears it, “Don’t you try that now that we’re mated bullshit on me angel boy. I’m not buying it!” 

Sam yells into the receiver, “So, yeah, we’re good!” 

When Sam hangs up the phone he puts it on the table and kicks off his shoes, pulling off his socks and then yanking his shirt over his head. The yelling gets softer and then stops all together as Sam strips off his pants and tugs off his boxers. 

He turns back as he’s walking out of the kitchen feeling the pulse of attraction from both his mates through their newly formed bond. 

“You coming?” Sam offers with a smile. He doesn’t look back as he strolls to the bedroom; he knows their right behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Part 8

“I need a job,” Jo bursts out as she busts in the door of their tiny office space.

“Good to know,” Cas answers dryly.

“Thanks for keeping us posted,” Dean adds.

She huffs and collapses down into the chair in front of Cas’ desk complaining loudly, “You know, being the only female in a family full of boys is hard. I don’t get any sympathy, I get cramps and no one cares, I’m bloated and achy and my back hurts…”

“Jesus!” Dean blurts. “We’ll give you whatever you want just shut the hell up about the girly crap.”

Cas grins as Jo smiles slowly. Dean tries to ignore them both in favor of focusing on the case they are currently working. He’s not lucky enough for that to actually happen. 

“I told you,” she repeats slowly like she is talking to children. “I need a job.”

They both stare at her before Cas shrugs and responds, “We can’t help you. The office is too small for another person and Dean and I handle all of the work here ourselves with no problems. Go ask Lucifer or Sam about it.”

She rolls her eyes and Dean says a silent prayer of gratitude that he mated with Cas and not her. It’s not the first time he’s had that thought. 

“They say it’s no big deal. It doesn’t matter what they say, it bothers me. My PA job ran out at the end of semester I need something to do.” There’s a hint of friction under her tone and Dean can see by Cas’ wings he’s not the only one who picks up on it. 

“What’s really going on?” he finally asks exasperated. 

She shifts in her seat and flips her hair before she turns to meet his eyes. “I’m pregnant,” she whispers and the whole world changes.

****

Dean moans happily as Cas presses down hard on a knot in his back later that evening. “When do you think she’s going to tell them?” he asks. 

Cas groans before answering, “She’s going to have to do it soon or Lucifer is going to be able to tell anyway.”

Dean flinches and makes a note to avoid his brother and his mates as much as possible until this blows over. 

Cas nips the back of his neck and Dean lets out a happy hum before flopping backward into his mates warm embrace. “You feel good,” Dean rumbles and arches as the angel slides a hand around his body to tug gently on one of his nipples. “You look good,” his mate responds and Dean forgets about his brother and the baby and how the hell they are going to earn enough money to pay Jo for doing work they don’t need her to do as Cas unbuttons his jeans and slides his hands inside. 

When they’re a panting boneless sweaty mess later he contemplates how happy he is that neither of them can get pregnant. It makes things a lot less complicated. 

The next morning over coffee and cereal Cas comments, “Have you ever thought about actually taking a case instead of just doing the piecing together?”

Dean looks up sharply, “What do you mean?” 

Cas gestures at the most recent case file they are working on and responds, “I mean, we take all of this information and we make it into something that can help other people solve crimes and catch criminals. Why not take it a step further and actually do the catching?”

Dean raises his eyebrows as he thinks it over. Cas has valid points. “Ok, so say we’re going to do this; what would we need?”

Dean watches as his angel shrugs his shoulders making his wings wiggle. “I think we should start small; something local that seems pretty benign or a missing person’s case nothing to high profile so we can take our time and be thorough.”

So the search begins. 

They didn’t have to spend too much time on it. One afternoon about two weeks later a woman is waiting in the office with Jo when they get back from picking up lunch and shipping off the latest work findings. At Cas’ raised wing Jo answers, “She’s an old friend of Gabriel’s. Her daughter is missing and he told her we might be able to help her.”

Dean looks over at Cas who raises his eyebrows and shrugs. Dean takes it as a give it a shot gesture so he drags a few more chairs over and start talking. It’s basic stuff; her daughter was a student at the local college. She was a good kid; went to class, lived at the dorm, had a part time job and good grades. She went to a concert with her friends and disappeared after a trip to the bathroom. They looked all night for her and had no luck. The police did a search, standard operating procedure; came up with nothing. 

She’s a nice woman, very sad, very hopeful. That’s something Dean had never considered before and as he watched Cas escort her out it’s that part of the whole situation that sticks with him as he puts in requests for her records with the local police. Dean’s looked at pictures of terrible violence, picked apart clues for an indefinable amount of gruesome cases, interviewed serial killers and touched the remains of their victims. But he has never had to interact with someone’s family before. 

“What if I have to tell this woman her daughter is dead?” he blurts over dinner. Cas snaps his head up to look at Dean before putting his fork down and wiping his mouth. 

“Is that what’s been bothering you?” the angel asks.

At Dean’s shrug Cas sighs, “Dean, I don’t know what’s going to happen with this case. Hell, we might find nothing just like the police, maybe she ran away, maybe someone took her, she might still be out there somewhere or not. But all I can tell you is if it were one of you all; one of my family, I would rather know than spend the rest of my life wondering. If we can’t give her back her daughter then we can at least get her closure.”

Dean nods. “Okay. I’ll pick up the papers tomorrow morning and we can start from there.”

They finish eating discussing plans for the week. It’s comfortable and Dean grins as he catches Cas shaking out one of his wings. The feathers are finally almost grown completely in but the new growth is unruly and doesn’t want to settle into the feather formation correctly. It’s a constant annoyance for the angel and Dean gets excited knowing Cas is going to crack and beg him for some hard core grooming soon. The angel says he feels bad having to ask Dean to do it when he can’t return the favor. Dean keeps telling Cas he’s nuts; getting to play with his feathers is more than reward enough. 

Sadly for both of them their evening gets suddenly and loudly derailed. 

“She’s pregnant!” Sam shouts as he throws open the door to their apartment.

Dean catches Cas’ dark look of irritation from across the table before he goes to deal with his deranged brother. 

“How did this happen?” Sam moans as he flops into one of the living room chairs.

Dean’s debating making a smart ass comment because it’s just too easy. Cas beats him to the punch with, “Well when human and angelic boys don’t use protection while sleeping with their wife then biological events occur.”

Dean snorts grateful the angel has a little bit more tact than he has. 

Sam’s not impressed in the least. “NOT FUNNY.”

Cas grins. “Funny to me,” is his cheeky reply as he slides off to wash the dishes and give them a moment to themselves. 

“I take it you guys weren’t exactly trying,” Dean comments as he plops down on the sofa. 

Sam glares at him from between his fingers as he drags his hands over his face again and again. 

“Well clearly we weren’t NOT trying hard enough,” Sam groans. “We just never talked about it.”

Dean nods. “So are you happy or what? I just need to plan my next nine months here.”

Sam flails his arms dramatically and then goes boneless in the chair slouching down and moaning. “Of course I’m happy. I just need a minute to freak the fuck out and then I’m going to be ecstatic.” 

They sit in silence Dean staring at the photos of the family strung around the walls of his home with Cas. The angel finishes hanging out in the kitchen and comes in to curl around Dean on the couch. Sam takes long slow breaths trying to calm down and Cas distracts Dean with kisses so much that he’s tempted for a minute to tell Sam to go have his big fatherly freak-out at someone else’s house. But then Dean has a thought.

“Sam,” he says and watches as his younger brother gives him a wary look. 

“Which one of you is the father?” 

Cas groans and buries his head in Dean’s shoulder. Sam jumps up shouting, “Shut the fuck up Dean!” before stomping back out the apartment door and slamming it shut behind him. 

“What did I say?” Dean asks. 

Cas hits him with a pillow from off the sofa and walks away muttering, “Way to go dip shit.”


	10. Chapter 10

Part 9

“A little to the left,” Cas groans as Dean hides his smile and digs into his husband’s wing a little deeper. Chocolate brown feathers parting and shifting under his touch as he strokes them back into place. 

Dean had been right; Cas had cracked about three days after Sam’s big daddy freak out and all but crawled into Dean’s lap whimpering for some grooming. Saying no had never even crossed Dean’s mind. He set down the police scene photos he had been working on and turned to give Cas his full attention. 

Living with the angel has been exciting and complicated; Cas is moody, independent, and suspicious by nature. Dean’s messy, guarded and defensive. It’s lead to some hellacious fighting and even hotter make up sex. Dean prefers to focus on the make up sex. But after the rocky start of their relationship and the painful struggle to find each other again it’s all worth it. They’re hammering out a life for themselves here and he’s starting to be able to guess Cas’ needs before they become issues. 

Take the grooming for example; Dean knows this is less about his feathers and more about Cas needing reassurance. Something is bothering the angel; has been for days, but he’s not ready to talk about it yet and Dean’s at least sure that it has nothing to do with him because if it did then his husband sure as hell wouldn’t be in his lap right now.

“I can hear you thinking,” Cas growls out grumpily. “You could just ask me what’s wrong.”

“You hate it when I do that,” Dean counters and the angel grumbles under his breath. 

“Ok then,” Dean smirks, “let’s try it your way. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Cas replies and Dean glares at him before the angel bursts into laughter and flaps his wings. “I’m kidding, I’m sorry. I’m worried about Lucifer.” 

Dean’s never really gotten the connection between Lucifer and Cas. He tries to wrap his head around it but has never had too much luck. They’re closer than friends, but he knows they aren’t related. In the back of his mind Dean is certain there is a story there but he’s half afraid he doesn’t want to know it. Lucifer is already married to his brother; if Dean found out Luc at some point in the past was sleeping with Cas then it might be too much for him to take. Some things are better left alone. 

It’s good for Cas to have someone in his life that cares for him so much though. Lucifer took good care of his mate while Dean was being an idiot and helped them to get back together risking his relationship with the battered angel to do it. 

Dean owes Lucifer a lot. 

“Worried about him why?” Dean questions.

Cas shifts and his wings draw up almost out of Dean’s grasp. A playful tug on some of the angel’s feathers brings them back down to Dean’s comfort zone. He wants to talk about whatever is bothering Cas but he wants to keep grooming him too. “Since they found out that Jo is pregnant there has been a lot of tension at home. Lucifer and Jo have always had an electric relationship and now things seem even more polarized. He’s miserable and nervous and he won’t talk to me about why. I’m concerned for him.” 

Dean nods. Sam hasn’t exactly been easy to deal with either. Halfling babies are pretty rare and Jo had a very hard time growing up because of her own Halfling status. Dean’s pretty sure the thought of having children never crossed her mind before she found out about the baby and even though she’s glowing and happy with her new status it’s changed the delicate balance of power she had with her two mates. Dean sighs; he knows Cas isn’t going to let this go. “What can we do to help?”

His husband has clearly already been formulating a plan. Cas perks right up and blurts, “You were going away for the weekend to check on the last place that college student was seen right? I want you to make Sam go with you so that Lucifer and Jo are stuck together for the weekend.”

“First of all I can’t make Sam do anything,” Dean comments because there are serious flaws in this plan. “Secondly, even with Sam gone they won’t be stuck together; one of them could just go somewhere else.”

Cas gives him a look that could melt ice. “You can take care of Sam and you and I both know it. Make it happen. I’ll handle Lucifer and Jo.” 

Dean would never admit this to anyone; but sometimes he’s a little scared of Cas. 

“Okay,” Dean capitulates. “I’ll get Sam out of dodge but you’re on your own with the other two.” 

Cas smiles happily before leaning forward and kissing Dean hard and deep. Dean clenched his hands into Cas’ feathers and the angel groans before slipping to straddle Dean and wrapping his arms around him. “I’m going to miss you this weekend,” Cas whispers into Dean’s ear before pressing kisses down the column of his neck. 

“Why don’t you show me how much?” Dean asks and then moans as the angel grinds down onto his lap. 

*****

Sam was easy to deal with as Cas was expecting. A few snide remarks and a couple of dares; a plea for the good old days and Dean has his sibling pressed into the car and driving away off into the sunset Friday night. Cas suspects Sam was seeking a break from the bickering of his two mates as well.

He flicks his feathers back and forth before turning to smile up at Jo and Lucifer standing in the doorway of their home. He has to give them credit Lucifer and he have been close for a long time; Jo is a new addition but she’s sharp and she’s careful. They give Cas a long assessing look and she mutters, “We’re totally fucked here aren’t we?” 

Lucifer sighs before stepping back into the house and commenting, “You may as well come in and give us your terms.”

Cas follows them into their home and watches as they settle on opposite ends of the sofa. “Whatever you two have going on between you,” he starts, “you’re going to work it out before your mate comes home on Sunday. I’m tired of spending my entire day around Jo at work and then dealing with you after I get home with both of you being miserable. Sam’s been irritating Dean too.”

They glare at him defensively and he suspected that was going to be the case. Cas shrugs “You can glare at me all you want but I’m telling you right now if you don’t have a different attitude by Monday morning I’m going to take drastic measures.”

“Meaning what exactly?” Lucifer asks. 

“Meaning that I will fire you,” Cas points to Jo. “And I will quit speaking to you,” he points to Lucifer. “I don’t need your domestic issues bleeding into my very happy home life and I will not allow you to upset my mate.” 

They don’t respond and they don’t need to. Cas knows Jo likes the job too much to risk losing it and Lucifer values their long term friendship more than one or two uncomfortable conversations. Cas puffs out his feathers and gets up. “I’ll show myself out. You have a wonderful weekend. Don’t call me. I’m going home to watch True Blood while Dean’s not here to bitch about it.” 

He’s flies home humming; grateful that his feathers have grown in enough for him to be able to do so. 

*****

Lucifer manages to make it to dinner time before he finally caves and asks, “Is it so terrible that it might be mine? I know you would prefer Sam but am I that intolerable?” His fingers are digging so hard into the sink he feels it shift where it rests against the countertop.

Jo doesn’t answer and silence for her is rarity that surely means problems. He turns to find her staring opened mouth at the back of his head. 

“What?” he asks confused by her look of horror.

There is a jumble of irritation and anxiety over their shared link followed by a terrible anger and painful hurt. He watches as she tears; eyes welling with wetness as her face puckers up with pain. She slams down the plate she was getting ready to set the table with so hard that it cracks and with a gasp she stalks out of the room. 

Lucifer’s lost as he often is when it comes to his female mate. Jo is wild to Sam’s nearly constant agreeable nature. She runs only in hots and colds and Lucifer is never really certain where on the spectrum he’s sitting. She is complicated and incomprehensible and he adores her. He just never seems to find a way to say it to her in terms she understands. 

“You son of a bitch,” Jo accuses on her way back into the kitchen. “Is that really what you think of me? You think so little of me that you really believe I would rather it be Sam’s baby than yours? How dare you.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer flares his wings and waves his hands trying to placate her. “I just don’t understand why you’re so tense. I thought it was because you didn’t know who the father was.”

“Well doesn’t it bother you? Don’t you worry about it?” Jo blurts and Lucifer catches her fear for the first time. 

“No,” he answers honestly but confused. “I don’t.”

She deflates then in front of his eyes; one arm curling around her stomach and the other wiping away tears as they pour from her eyes. He gathers her close and breaths a sigh of relief as she clings to him allowing him to wrap her up in his wings and press tender kisses to her hair. He floods his side of their link with affection because as difficult as their portion of this relationship sometimes is there is so much love between them. He would be incomplete without her. 

“Why not?” She chokes out and Lucifer chuckles. 

“Joanna,” he whispers to her gently as he traces the scars on her back through her thin t-shirt. “I love you and Sam Winchester more than I love anything or anyone else in the universe. The addition of both of you has changed me and my life. You’ve made me happier than I have ever been; more content that I ever dreamed I would be and you show me daily what love is all about. I can’t think of anything more beautiful than the two people I love the most in the world having a child together. I don’t understand what exactly you’re so afraid of but it shouldn’t be me, sweet one.”

“You don’t care?” the words seem to tumble out of her against her will. “It doesn’t make you feel left out if it’s not yours?” 

“Whether this baby has wings, or your wicked smile and Sam’s brown floppy hair; it doesn’t matter to me. I’ll love it because it came from you. It’s a part of us even if it didn’t come from all of us.” Lucifer brushes the hair back from her face and kisses his mate until she relaxes and pulls him closer. “Even if biology is against us; this is still my child.”

“I love you,” she blurts and then looks as shocked as he does by the admission being so direct. He can’t help but laugh and she thankfully joins him. “I love you too,” he adds before scooping her up and carrying her to the bedroom. 

“Where are we going?” she says trying to sound innocent.

“We have the whole weekend to ourselves; I’m going to take advantage of it assuming we’re good here.” It’s not a question but he assumes it’s always safer to make sure. 

“Oh we’re good,” she agrees. By the time Sam stumbles home filthy and hung over Sunday evening Lucifer’s certain they are very good indeed.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 9B

“Dude,” Sam sputters. “This has to be the worst brotherly bonding weekend ever in the history of mankind.”

Sam’s just being the whiny little bitch that he is, but Dean has to admit on some level he’s totally right. This weekend has sucked ass totally. 

The police were less than helpful and had conveniently lost the information they had promised to set aside for Dean. Sam’s GPS was a broken, worthless, piece of shit, and they got lost three times. The motel was roach infested and maybe Dean’s just getting old or spoiled or something but it was way more fun when they did this kind of shit ten years ago. Now all he can think about is burning his clothing when he gets home, and keeping an eye on what he hopes is a rash and not some kind of bed bug infestation.

That and it’s only Saturday. 

It’s going to be a long night.

“Look,” he huffs after Sam makes bitch face number sixty seven for the third time. “Do you want to just go home and forget all about this weekend? Cas will be pissed but I can deal with him better than knowing I’m torturing you.”

Sam turns wide eyes to Dean and shakes his head slowly, “Do you know what’s waiting for me at home Dean?” At Dean’s confused looks Sam continues, “I have a pregnant wife, who on a good day make pms look like a vacation at Disney Land, and a husband who is currently treating her like she is diseased. I would rather die than go home right now. Do you hear me? I WOULD RATHER DIE.”

Yeah okay, so no going home for either of them; this leaves only one option. “Wanna go get drunk?” Dean offers and Sam shrugs, “Hell yeah; bring on the beer.”

There is one tiny bar in the hell hole of a town they are currently in. Dean takes a long assessing look at it and turns to Sam commenting, “I’m betting this is a ‘four deer head on the wall’ bar at least, with a side of wart hog or moose over the pool table.” 

Sam takes a moment to ponder before replying, “Great, redneck bar. They’re going to think we’re gay. Why do the redneck bars always think we’re gay?”

“I don’t know about you man,” Dean chuckles “But Cas has a dick, a really awesome dick, and I’m pretty sure that means I’m gay. As another interesting point you have a husband and Jo being female doesn’t cancel Lucifer out.”

“What’s your point?” Sam groans. 

“I’m gay and you liked dick enough to marry it. So I think you’re bi but it’s not going to matter here.” Dean smiles

“Shut up Dean!” Sam blurts. “I meant that the redneck bars always thing we’re gay with EACH OTHER.”

“Oh,” Dean sighs. “Yeah. What the hell is the deal about that anyway?”

It only takes about four beers between them before the waitress asks. Dean rolls his eyes and tries to be the bigger person about the whole thing. He shrugs it off with “He’s my brother,” and keeps right on drinking. 

They hustle a few good games of pool before the local crowd catches on to the game and shuts them down. Dean’s happy enough that he made back enough money to cover the cost of their craptastic hotel room. 

About three hours later it’s getting late and Dean’s had as many as he’s willing to drink. Another two beers and he’s going to start with the drunk texting to Cas, who saves the messages and likes to print them out and post them all over the office for the following week. Plus Dean’s pretty sure Cas is up to his elbows in Crunch N Munch with Gabriel, watching True Blood, and arguing over who Sookie Stackhouse should be sleeping with right now. If Dean interrupts the soft core porn fest he’s going to get his ass beat when he gets home. 

Sam’s not looking any better and the crowd is getting restless. “You two boys don’t look related,” the waitress comments again and Dean’s torn between being irritated and just wanting to ask her why she gives a shit so bad. Sam beats him to the punch by standing up on the table thoroughly intoxicated and announcing loudly, “THIS IS MY BROTHER! WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX. I KNOW THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND DUE TO THE NATURE OF INBREEDING THAT OCCURRED BETWEEN YOUR PARENTS; BUT WE HAVE A ‘HANDS OFF’ POLICY IN MY FAMILY UNIT.”

He knew he should have cut Sam off two rounds ago. 

He stumbles to his feet fast enough to stop the first guy from knocking Sam off the table. The second one sneaks by him while Dean’s taking a fist to his eye. They manage to roll out the door into the parking lot. Rule number two of the Winchester Family Program of Bar Brawling is to get everyone outside so to minimize having to pay for damages when the police get here.

Rule number one is never pick a fight you can’t win. 

The parking lot is fairly deserted and thankfully dirt instead of asphalt. It takes about ten minutes for the police to arrive, and by then Dean and Sam are leaning against the front of the Impala wiping away blood, and sweeping the dirt on their clothing. The other bar participants have either gone home to lick their wounds or haven’t come back to consciousness yet. 

They spend the night in jail sobering up but thankfully no one presses charges. At around four in the morning Dean turns to Sam on the other bunk and asks, “You having fun yet?”

Sam chuckles, “Yeah….” They laugh their asses off. 

****

“I still don’t get why Dean doesn’t like this show,” Gabriel comments as he stretches his legs to put his bare feet up on the coffee table. 

Cas shrugs “He’s disturbed by the idea of creepy monsters walking around like they are regular people.”

“He spends all day every day staring at the evidence of what regular people are capable of,” Gabriel snorts. “I don’t get how monsters could be worse.”

“He likes his entertainment less complicated,” Cas replies as he presses a few more buttons and settles back next to his brother on the couch. 

“You’re sure you won’t let me tell him that I know he DVR’s Cupcake Wars?” Gabriel teases and then laughs outright at his brother’s nasty glare.

“Gabriel, he will kill me,” Cas warns. 

It’s always fun to spend time with his brother. Gabriel making time on short notice in his schedule to accommodate Cas this weekend. The angel’s fairly certain his older sibling canceled a business trip overseas on no notice just to flop on his couch and watch pirated videos. Usually they have to do it at Gabriel’s apartment, but with Dean gone they’re pulling pajama night at Cas’ house. 

Which basically means they’re sprawling on the furniture in loose fitting pajama pants and old ratty t-shirts, watching movies or TV shows; and poking fun at each other until they get to tired and then go to sleep. 

Cas is sure Dean is out getting Sam drunk somewhere right now, and even though it’s not his idea of a really fun time, the angel can’t help but to admit that his brother in law needs some serious relief. The tension at Sam’s house could be cut with a knife. 

“Pregnant huh?” Gabriel snorts. “Who’s the lucky guy?’ 

“That would be the problem,” Cas comments. “No one knows.” 

“Ooooooohhhhh,” Gabriel nods. “Yeah that would make things tense.” There is a beat of silence and Cas waits for the next horrible thing to come out of Gabriel’s mouth. “Have you guys told them you and Lucifer used to be fuck buddies yet?” 

“NO,” Castiel groans. “They haven’t asked. I think Dean suspects something though. It doesn’t matter anyway damn it; it was over ten years ago and it was only for a month.”

“Whatever dude,” Gabriel snorts. “I’ve heard all about your very adult decision to just be close friends. Good for you two.”

“You’re just jealous,” Cas snarks. “How’s the topic of mating coming with Kali?”

“Shut the fuck up Castiel,” Gabriel barks and Cas smiles. “Not so fun when it’s turned your way is it big brother?”

Gabriel throws caramel covered popcorn at his head but stays silent through the first two episodes of their season two marathon. 

They chatter back and forth for most of the others. Season one was super weird but Season two takes the cake for all of it. 

“Poor Tara.”

“Poor Jessica”

“Jason Stackhouse is one dumb-assed son of a bitch.”

“Yeah but he’s hot.”

“I love Lafayette.”

“I love Eric.”

“What the hell is up with Maryanne?”  
Gabriel turns to him halfway through Sam fucking Daphne on the pool table and blurts, “So he’s a dog and she’s a pig….think they do it in their animal forms?” 

Cas gives Gabriel the stink eye “Your brain lives in the gutter doesn’t it?”

“Is there another place for it to live?” Gabriel chuckles. 

Cas ignores him for a good fifteen minutes before he huffs out, “I bet they did.”

“You bet they did what?” Gabriel’s confused.

“Have sex as a dog and pig,” Cas is mortified he’s even considering it now that they are having the discussion. 

“He’d need a stool or something,” Gabriel ponders “That’s a pretty big pig.”

They crack up laughing and Cas has to wipe tears from his eyes as he calms down. 

“Pervert,” he snorts.

“Stop talking about yourself,” Gabriel sticks his tongue out. 

It’s well into the early morning hours before they’re exhausted. Gabriel finally opening up at about four in the morning that Kali is having trouble with the fact that Gabriel has kids with another woman and that’s why she won’t agree to finalize their bond. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas offers wishing there was more he could say to make this better. 

“It’s alright,” Gabriel scoffs. “Better we find out now than get stuck with each other right?” But the words sound hollow and Cas wonders just how far his brother’s actually fallen already. 

“I’m going to pass out on your lumpy ass couch now. Get off it and go to bed,” Gabriel orders. Cas crosses the loft to his bed; flipping off the lights as he goes. When he gets settled in under the blankets and curved around Dean’s pillow he hears Gabriel shifting on the couch then his brother bellows, “OINK!” and they break out into another fit of giggles. 

Cas waits until Gabriel’s been still for a while before he yells back, “BARK BARK.” 

He takes a pillow to the head for it but it’s a small price to pay.


	12. Chapter 12

Part 10

Family dinner at the Winchesters is nothing to ever really point your finger at. They’re loud and rude, and sometimes involve long jokes told at someone’s expense with very little tact or taste. 

People either leave late in the night having had a very good time, or they flee early in the evening full of anger and disgust swearing that they will never come back, and then secretly wishing they were cool enough to enjoy it.

Gabriel fits into the first category.

Cas thinks he might have to pry his well over halfway drunk brother out of Sam’s house with a fork lift if they stay any longer and more importantly- Gabriel is just enough on the wrong side of intoxicated that he’s started to talk a lot.

Gabriel talking a lot means problems for Castiel. 

Problems like - “So Deano, baby brother ever tell you, he used to swap spit with Luci-boy over there?”

But for you to get a full feel of the evening we’d have to take you back a bit…..

Gabriel’s been in a slump for pretty much a month. Kali’s put up enough road blocks to the bonding process that he’s about given up and Cas is ready to step in. They finally manage to talk him into a fun night out, dinner included, at the younger Winchester’s house. 

Cas should have anticipated that this would be a terrible idea. 

He blames Dean.

Dean manages to get Lucifer to agree to the visit. Lucifer knows Gabriel and though they aren’t particularly close, they do have an area of agreed upon good will that centers exactly where Cas is standing. They both have too much respect for the angel to push their luck. 

Jo’s finally starting into the second trimester which they are ALL hoping improves her mood. In her defense the six solid weeks of constant puking has to be hard on her. 

So dinner is actually an option, and she seems to be happy for the distraction from her routine. The paid day off Dean gave her to sweeten the deal didn’t seem to hurt either.

Gabriel’s late as always but they were smart enough to not wait for him. He slinks into his chair at the dinner table with little fanfare and barely looks up through the salad he shovels into his mouth. Cas stares at him for a long time before he tentatively asks, “Are you alright?”

Gabriel turns and blurts, “Fuck my life.”

“And we’ll take that as a no,” Sam comments as he gets up to go check on the roast. 

Three glasses of wine later and Gabriel is regaling them of his most recent disagreement with the love of his life. “She just walked out like I was nothing and she said she didn’t think we should stay together. She said I wanted too much from her that I was needy. Of course I’m fucking needy! I’m halfway through the bonding process and my mate keeps rejecting me. I feel like I’m losing my mind!”

“Gabriel,” Cas barks and everyone turn to look at him. He stares at his brother with sad eyes, “You need to stay away from her or you’re going to suffer.” 

“I’m already suffering,” Gabriel snorts. “Love hurts.”

Cas is eternally grateful when Lucifer distracts them by telling this horribly long story about a professor at the college who teaches history and has Tourettes syndrome. Apparently there have been several issues with his outbursts but the students seem to love his class. 

It’s ridiculous and Gabriel loves it as chaos seems to be where he is the most comfortable. It also sets the tone for the rest of the evening, until Cas and Dean proceed to try and extract the drunken angel, and get him someplace safe to sleep for the night. 

Gabriel turns evil when he’s not getting his way. It’s one of the reasons Cas usually cuts him off at a few glasses. 

After passive resistance fails Gabriel drops the proverbial bomb and waits for the fall out. 

Everyone freezes. 

Lucifer rolls his wings in a big circle and his eyes roll up into his head; Cas gasps and hides his face in his hands while Gabriel snickers and points. Dean looks over at Sam who stares back in some kind of silent communication before Dean strolls forward with purpose and punches Gabriel square in the face. 

The angel collapses unconscious and Sam grabs his upper body on the way down. Dean snags his feet and they haul him to the car dropping him in the back seat before sharing a high five. 

“You handle your half of it and I’ll get mine,” Dean says calmly.

Sam nods, “And after tonight we never speak of it again.”

Cas is glad they have it all worked out but he’s dreading the drive home. Dean has this air about him like there’s something big coming. 

“Dean,” Cas whispers as they get in the car, and Dean glares at him sharply before starting the engine and driving them toward the downtown area. 

“We’re going to talk about this later,” his mate whispers. “But not until we get your brother somewhere he can be taken care of.”

Cas has no idea where that might be, but he’s really just along for the ride at this point so he stays silent. 

They pull up in front of Gabriel’s apartment and Dean drags Gabriel out of the back with a quick, “Get his feet Cas.”

They’re halfway up the elevator when Cas finally blurts, “We can’t just leave him here; he’s unconscious and alone it won’t be safe.”

Dean shakes his head, “He’s not going to be alone. Trust me.”

Kali is holding the door open by the time they get off on the right floor. Cas stares at her with a stunned expression. 

“Sam had Jo call her while we were on our way,” Dean comments. “They suggested she might want to be here when we got him home.”

Dean and Cas drag Gabriel in and drop him on the bed. Cas is hesitant to leave his brother but Dean grabs him and drags him toward the door.

He turns to Kali right before they step out into the hallway and says, “I don’t know what your problem is lady but that guy loves you. I suggest you fix whatever you’re trying to break here before it’s too late.” 

Cas is pretty sure he should be nervous as they travel down the elevator to the car because he knows a serious talk is in the works for them; but he can’t keep the smile off his face. That comment to Kali in defense of his brother just makes him love Dean a little more.

As if that was really possible.

“How long?” Dean asks quietly as they drive away, and Cas wrings his hands and flops back against the seat saying, “It was over ten years ago now. We were together for around a month if you could even call it that.” 

“So what were you?” Dean questions.

“I think your culture calls it fuck buddies,” Cas offers and winces at the words as they roll out of his mouth. 

“Tell me,” is all Dean answers, and Cas looks out the window as he starts to talk. “He was an intern and I was a PA, we worked together on special projects now and then. I liked him he was……exciting compared to me. We went out to bars a few times and then one night ended up in bed together. It was fun and wild and over before we really knew what hit us.”

“Why?” Dean asks

“I was young and so defended. He wanted more from me and I couldn’t bring myself to give it to him. We were friends first and I wanted to keep that so badly. So we stopped and he went away for the summer. When he came back a few months later it was easier between us and we became like we are now. Almost siblings I guess. It was a lifetime ago.” Cas turns to face his mate and adds, “I didn’t mean to hide it from you, but Lucifer was with Sam, and I had you and then I didn’t, and when it was all said and done I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Losing you,” Cas breathes and looks at Dean like he is an idiot. “What else do I have to be afraid of?”

“You don’t have THAT to be afraid of dumb ass!” Dean erupts and the car is suddenly pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m your mate! I’m not going anywhere without you. So you and my brother in law used to rub uglies when you were kids, fuck I don’t care. I just don’t want you hiding stuff from me.”

“You really don’t care?” Cas can’t believe it.

“It’s ancient history Cas,” Dean shrugs. “I had people I was with before you. Hell I was married before you.”

“I know,” Cas comments. “But we don’t have dinner with them on Tuesday and Fridays.”

Dean chuckles before saying, “Well, maybe we should start.”

“I would poison them,” Cas announces like it’s the perfect plan of action. 

They look at each other for a minute before they fall into laughter and Dean drags him across the seat to kiss him senseless and tug on his chocolate colored feathers. 

“I love you,” Dean says clearly.

“I love you,” Cas replies. 

“Sooo,” Dean starts and Cas interrupts him with, “Do not even ask me how he was in bed. I am not going to tell you. Go ask your brother.”

Dean makes a face like he just drank battery acid. “Gross Cas! I’m not asking Sam that! EWWW!”

Neither of them ever asks Sam what happened at his house that night, but Lucifer looks a lot more relaxed the next time they see him. 

Jo manages to keep it together for about a week, before over Friday night dinner she calmly says, “So Dean; if your husband used to sleep with my husband; does that mean that according to the six degrees of separation you have slept with Sam?”

Dean grins and puts down his glass before he answers, “Yep!” At Lucifer’s strangled gasp and Sam’s snort he adds, “It also means I’ve slept with you.” 

Jo blinks before cocking her head to the side and smiling wickedly she says, “So how was I?”

Dean flushes embarrassed by the question but before he can back down Cas answers, “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

They give him an extra piece of pie that night. 

It was pumpkin and delicious. 

Life is good.


	13. Chapter 13

Part 11

“Norman”

“No.”

“Horacio”

“I would rather die.”

“Barnibus”

“Why did we invite you two over anyway?” Jo huffs at her brother-in-laws from the other side of the living room. 

Cas laughs at her frustrated face. “You invited us over because you aren’t having any luck picking out baby names.”

“Well you’re here now and we STILL aren’t having any luck,” Jo snarks “Maybe you should go back home.”

“Easy girl;” Lucifer comments; softening the blow of his words with soothing strokes around and over her slightly swollen ankles. “The boys are just trying to help.”

“How about Edward?” Cas offers.

“Too Twilight; besides Sam is team Jacob.” Lucifer responds

“Ah,” Cas shrugs “Dean is too.”

“I am totally NOT!” Dean blurts from where he has been digging through a baby name book for the past fifteen minutes. “I’ve never even seen those movies.”

Cas glares at him long and hard before he smirks and announces “We have them on Blu-Ray.”

Jo laughs so loudly she blocks out the noise of Dean groaning in horror. 

“Maybe we would have better luck with girl names?” Lucifer offers. 

“Penelope?”

“Don’t like it.”

“Mildred?”

“Sounds like someone’s Grandmother’s name.”

“Lisa?” 

“Ex-wife!” Dean shouts “Please not that!”

“Cross it off,” Jo says clearly “I have a thing about naming babies after exes.”

“Tara?”

“Too True Blood and too Buffy.”

“I loved Buffy,” Dean murmurs to himself and then catches the look that every else is giving him and jerks back into his chair blurting “What? Joss Whedon is a genius! I defy any of you to argue that point with me!”

He’s pointing and waving his finger around. Jo smiles and says “That’s why I love you Dean; you are such a girl.”

“Shut up!” Dean huffs; crossing his arms and slumping in on himself. Cas reaches out a wing to brush it along Dean’s side in silent support but when it’s shrugged off he takes a breath and says “I preferred Firefly but the network messed it all up.”

“Serenity was good,” Lucifer adds slowly.

“His best work was in X-men.” Jo says definitively.

“You read comics?” Dean perks up leaning forward toward his pregnant sister-in-law.

“Do I ever!” Jo grins. “I have a ten box collection in the office upstairs.”

Lucifer and Cas roll their eyes at each other over their mates heads as the two launch into a hour long discussion of the golden age of comics and the impact of lack of continuity on the current material. They’re both lost until the highly animated discussion works its way to Iron Man and finally to Marvel films. Cas sudden blurts “They should have kept Edward Norton!” 

Lucifer nods “He was a very good Hulk.”

“Are they talking to us?” Dean says to Jo leaning away from the two angels.

“I don’t know,” she mutters “Sometimes it’s like they’re speaking a language I just don’t even understand.”

“Oh fuck you both,” Lucifer huffs.

Dean opens his mouth to say something horrible; Cas is certain of it. He raises a wing and snaps “We agreed to never speak of it again!” 

Dean snaps his mouth shut and Jo says “How about Anna?”

“I dated one once.” Dean shrugs. 

“Was she nice?” Jo asks.

“Kind of easy….you know what I mean?” Dean hedges. 

“Did you sleep with everything you came into contact with before Cas?” Jo blurts.

“Not everything,” Dean mutters frowning.

“Just half the west coast,” Sam adds from the doorway.

Dean flicks him off and then flicks off Gabriel too as he enters the room right behind Sam just for good measure. 

“What did I do?” the other angel asks. “I just got here!”

“You’ll do something to earn it; I’m sure.” Cas comments.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence little bro,” Gabriel hits Cas on the back of the head as he goes to drop down on the couch beside him. 

“Any luck?” Sam asks as he squeezes his large frame onto the other sofa with his two mates and wraps a protective arm around Jo’s stomach. 

“Nada,” Jo sighs leaning into him. “This is really hard.”

“Agreed,” Lucifer murmurs rubbing his cheek against the hand that Sam extends toward him.

“Well you can stop looking at boy names all together,” Gabriel comments with a flip of his fingers. “It’s a waste of time at least this time around.”

You could hear a pin drop in the room and he finally looks up to see everyone staring at him. “What?”

“What do you mean by waste of time?” Cas asks. 

“She’s having a girl.” Gabriel points to Jo like everyone should already know that. “Can’t you feel it? That’s all feminine energy over there. No little baby boy angels this trip through. They’re just going to have to try again next time.”

Jo waves her hands over her belly like she’s afraid to touch. “A girl? How do you know that when Lucifer and Cas can’t tell?”

“I have kids,” Gabriel shrugs like it’s not that big of a deal. “I’ve been through this before. Trust me or not; but I’m telling you that is a baby girl in there.”

“We’re having a girl.” Sam’s voice carries this sense of wonder in it that makes Dean’s eyes water. His little brother is glowing; happy and excited in a way that Dean’s never really seen before. 

It’s really beautiful. 

Jo’s right; Dean is a big girl. 

But he’s never going to admit to that. 

“So names?” he blurts as he’s trying to distract himself from the emotional intensity.

“Mary?” Sam whispers.

“After your mother?” Lucifer asks.

“If that’s okay?” Sam’s not looking at his mates; he’s looking at Dean. 

“It’s a great name,” Dean nods slowly, purposefully. 

“Unless you and Cas were going to use it?” Sam offers turning a little red around the ears.

“For what?” Dean barks “When we adopt a cat?”

“I’m more of a dog person,” Cas announces and they laugh. Dean’s grateful for the release of tension. 

“All your giant brains put together and Mary is the best thing you could come up with?” Gabriel huffs “That’s lame guys.”

“At least her name is pronounceable,” Cas argues. “You have four kids and with the exception of one they all sound like a cat coughing up a hairball.”

Gabriel just glares. 

Cas flicks his wings happily. 

Cas knows Gabriel is going to get him for that. It’s just a matter of time. He’ll worry about it later.


	14. Chapter 14

Part 12

 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Dean freezes halfway through rolling out a towel and asks “You wanna go to the hospital?” Frankly he’s all for that idea. Jo wanting to have the baby at home surrounded by her family always seemed like a really nutty idea to him. The hospital has doctors and nurses and things that beep there. 

All Dean has is towels and some Pepto; and the Pepto’s for him. He feels like he’s going to puke. 

“No,” Jo pants “I don’t want to have the baby.”

“Um,” Dean’s mouth goes dry and the world spins just a little bit. “Jo, I don’t think that’s an option at this point.”

“I don’t like this ride;” she spits in his general direction while she grits her teeth through what he guesses is another contraction. “I want to get off now.”

Then she doubles over and gasps and there’s fluid everywhere. Dean starts screaming “CAS!!!!!!!”

*****

A half hour later Jo’s still in labor and the contractions are right on top of each other. Lucifer’s using his grace to sooth her pain through their connection and Sam’s helping her breathe. 

Dean’s on the couch with his feet up and his head pillowed in Cas’ lap; still panting into a paper bag.

“It was horrible.”

“It’s a natural part of the process,” Cas assures him. 

“There’s nothing natural about this,” Dean complains and he hears Cas sigh before his mate yanks hard on his hair. 

“Get yourself together. This is not about you!” Cas is beyond irritated and Dean knows it. He’s aware he’s being a big baby about this whole thing but staring at mutilated bodies in a picture is one thing, watching your sister in law suffer through childbirth is a whole different animal. 

“She’s hurting,” Dean huffs. 

Cas hand goes back to it’s gentle petting. “I know. But that’s just the way things are. You should go check on them. They might need something.”

Dean knows he’s being tricked; Cas is just trying to get him to go and participate the way Jo wanted. She’s been talking about it for the last two months and he knows it’s important to her; something about the way her birth had to be so hidden and wanting her child born into the acceptance of the family. 

He wants to come through for her. Dean loves Jo; but the whole idea of her having a baby in the other room makes him nervous and the thought that something might go wrong is keeping him paranoid and terrified. 

He’s not sure that’s the kind of emotional welcome Jo was hoping for when she planned this thing. But he hauls himself up off the couch and grits his teeth as he goes back in. 

*****

Five hours later Dean’s bent over the sink washing his shaking hands, on weak knees, with a happy smile. 

“You did wonderfully.”

He turns his head and finds Cas standing, relaxed and confident, in the doorway. 

“I almost dropped her,” Dean comments. 

“Understandable,” the angel smiles “you weren’t expecting her to just pop out like that.”

Dean flinches. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.”

Cas chuckles and tugs Dean away from the sink to hug him close and kiss him tenderly. Dean loses himself in their mating bond for a while. Just drifting along in the comfort Cas’ presence offers him and the security he finds in their embrace. 

“My hero.” Cas whispers tenderly into Dean’s ear. Dean hopes like hell his mate always feels that way. 

The sharp cry of their newly born niece draws them away from each other and into the bedroom where a glowing group of parents sit curled together around their new child. 

“She’s adorable.” Dean offers by way of greeting and Sam looks up with a smile so big Dean thinks it might split his brother’s face in two. 

“Yeah, you three make a cute baby.” Dean comments and then laughs as Jo smiles down at the bundled up infant. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Lucifer offers and Dean flails his hands and exclaims “I already did that, thanks!”

He glares at Dean before mumbling “I wasn’t talking to you. I was asking Castiel.”

His mate steps forward and presses a friendly peck on Lucifer’s temple as the other angel slides over the baby for Cas to hold. Dean thinks he probably loses track of time watching Cas coo and cuddle the tiny new form in his arms. There’s something truly beautiful about it and part of him aches that they’re never going to know that feeling together. 

“We’re naming her Mary Ellen Winchester.” Sam announces proudly and Dean shakes off his thoughts to focus on his brother’s joy. 

“Great name,” he replies and Cas hums his approval without taking his eyes off the baby in question. 

*****

“Can you tell which one of them is the daddy?” Gabriel mumbles quietly to Dean when he comes by later to bring food and give his congratulations. 

Leave it to Gabriel to be ballsy enough to ask such an inappropriate question. 

They moved into the living room hoping to let Jo sleep for a while before Mary needs to be fed. Dean looks out from the kitchen to where the dark haired, auburn winged, little baby is cuddled close against Lucifer’s chest while he sings something low and sweet under his breath. Sam slides up beside them to encircle Lucifer and Mary in a warm hug while he nuzzles into the angel’s neck. Her little wings flap twice before settling back in between her two fathers and drifting back into sleep. 

“It’s pretty obvious;” Dean answers; pointing at them. “Can’t you tell?”

“No,” Gabriel responds with a flip of his wings. 

Cas chuckles as he stuffs another tray of food into the fridge. “That’s the point.”


	15. Chapter 15

Part 13

“DEE!!!!!” Mary squeals as she catches sight of her uncle coming up the steps onto the porch through the window. “DEE!!!!”

Lucifer rolls his eyes as he goes to scoop her out of her bouncer and opens the door for his brother-in-law. 

“How did you know I was here?” Dean asks as he steps inside and smiles, bright and open, at his little niece. 

“Dee!” Mary repeats proudly while she points at him; poking her plump, damp, baby fingers into his chest. 

“That’s right sweetheart,” Dean coos to her. “I’m your Dee.” 

Lucifer snorts as he hands his daughter over to her uncle. “You know,” Lucifer sighs. “She doesn’t even say Momma or Dada yet. But she knows your name.”

“We go way back,” Dean chuckles as she squirms in his arms to turn and smile proudly at her father. “I was the first person she ever saw.”

“She didn’t see you,” Lucifer chuckles. “You just happen to grab her as she plummeted toward the floor.”

“See?” Dean smiles. “I’m her hero.”

“I hate you,” Lucifer laughs. Dean kicks at him with his foot and one of Lucifer’s wings bashes him in the back of the head. “How’s my Cas?” 

“My Cas is peachy,” Dean counters before he sticks his tongue out at the angel. “He’s excited about getting to keep Mary tonight. What are you three up to?”

“It’s just Sam and I,” Lucifer shrugs. “Jo is going out with Kali to shop for baby things now that she and Gabriel are expecting. So I’m going to cook dinner and try to woo my mate into something sinful.”

“You’re sick. You know that don’t you?” Dean says with a shake of his head at Lucifer’s wiggled eyebrows. “I do NOT want to know about what you have planned to do with my sibling.”

“I had to live through the beginning of your relationship with my best friend,” Lucifer reminds him. “Handcuffs and all. You can tolerate my undying affection for your brother.”

Dean smiles fondly at the memory. It was a rough ride but he doesn’t regret a bit of it. Cas is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He’s just glad Sam is as happy as he is. 

“You’ll take good care of her,” Lucifer says softly. 

Dean shakes his head at the slightly misty look in Lucifer’s eyes. For as tough as the angel is, as hard as he works to keep himself and his family safe, he loves his child beyond anything that Dean had expected. Lucifer as a father is a beautiful thing. 

“Of course I will,” Dean assures him. Mary’s little wings, with their puffy down feathers beat against his arms as he holds her. She laughs when he gives her all of his attention and grabs at his nose. By the time Dean drags his eyes away from her big, puppy dog brown ones and peaks around her halo of white, blond hair Lucifer is already dragging all of her stuff to Dean’s car. 

*****

“We are never having children,” Cas pants as he collapses into bed next to Dean that night. “How do they manage? She’s exhausting!”

Dean tugs his mate closer and lets his affection for Cas run through their bond with each other. He knows Cas feels it too when the angel relaxes against his chest and puffs out a breath of satisfaction into Dean’s neck. “I love you,” Cas murmurs. “You keep me grounded.”

“That’s my line,” Dean whispers as he pets at Cas’ feathers and enjoys the way they rustle and shift against his fingers. “But you’re right. She’s a handful and she’s not even walking. We really need to child proof this place before she gets any bigger or all hell is going to break loose around here every time we have her stay over.”

“Parenthood,” Cas sighs. “Even temporary parenthood is a daunting task.”

Dean laughs, he can’t help it. Cas pokes him in the ribs with a sharp, long finger before collapsing into giggles himself. The bond between them burns with their shared mirth. Dean closes his eyes as he enjoys it and thinks that he might never get enough of sharing his lover’s feelings. 

“Do you think we could get away with making out?” Cas asks after a few long moments of just floating in the sensation of being bonded to another soul. 

Dean’s a little startled. “She’s like two feet over there. She’ll hear us.”

“She’s sleeping,” Cas argues. 

“She’s going to wake up and then I’ll look over your shoulder to see a baby watching your bare ass while you ride me,” Dean complains. Lucifer would kill him if he found out. 

“She’s not going to tell,” Cas counters with a grin. “She can’t talk.”

“I’m going to hell because of you,” Dean grumbles. “I just know it.”

“The bathroom then,” Cas offers with a nuzzle. “That way we can have some time together and we’ll still be able to hear her if she cries.”

Dean gives him a dubious look and Cas rolls his eyes. “What?” Dean blurts. 

“She won’t see anything either,” Cas hisses. “This infant is not going to deny me sex.”

Later; after Dean’s been thoroughly ravished, he bends over the pack-n-play that little Mary is sleeping in and whispers to his mate, “You love her right? I know kids aren’t really your thing.”

“I adore her,” Cas murmurs into his bare shoulder as his chocolate wings curve around both him and the make shift crib holding their niece. “She’s a joy and gift. I might not feel like I can handle a child of my own right now, Dean. But that doesn’t mean I’m not totally enamored with this little being in our home.” 

One of his wings dips into the crib to stroke along Mary’s still developing feathers. She sighs in her sleep and nestles down, still sleeping. It’s not long afterwards that Dean and Cas join her in slumber.


End file.
